Just testing whether the looming specter of personal humiliation is a reliable muse

Some advice I liked from the NaNoWriMo website.

2) Do not edit as you go. Editing is for December and beyond. Think of November as an experiment in pure output. Even if it’s hard at first, leave ugly prose and poorly written passages on the page to be cleaned up later. Your inner editor will be very grumpy about this, but your inner editor is a nitpicky jerk who foolishly believes that it is possible to write a brilliant first draft if you write it slowly enough. It isn’t. Every book you’ve ever loved started out as a beautifully flawed first draft. In November, embrace imperfection and see where it takes you.

Except for Joseph Conrad's novels.  He only ever wrote one draft.  Maybe this is why so many of his works are so perfectly depressing.

3) Tell everyone you know that you’re writing a novel in November. This will pay big dividends in Week Two, when the only thing keeping you from quitting is the fear of looking pathetic in front of all the people who’ve had to hear about your novel for the past month. Seriously. Email them now about your awesome new book. The looming specter of personal humiliation is a very reliable muse.

Hey, everyone, I'm writing a "novel" as defined by NaNoWriMo this November.  Don't write to ask how it's going because I probably won't answer your email, and then I will feel guilty about this.  : )  I'll post updates here.  See you then.

National Novel Writing Month - possibly a lovely birthday gift

I think I'm going to try it this year.  In preparation, I asked friends for suggestions for good books to read that have voices I can learn from for the kind of book I'm considering writing, and I've been reading them.  I hope to get through several more this weekend while also trying to get ahead for blogging, since it will be second priority to this sustained effort in November.  (I really need to start getting realistic about my abilities and energy reserves one of these days.)  Anyway, I already have a title, which for me is one of the hardest things to come up with for a piece of writing.

Last year, I might have done it, but in August of 2011, I smashed the tip of one of my fingers on my writing hand, and the nerve and fingertip were still very angry at me in November.  (And continued to be so until 6 months later in May, when I could finally type without pain again).  Now the nerve is just slightly miffed, and I am not teaching on top of my regular full-time job, so I think I (and my trusty companion prescription-strength ibuprofen) can mechanically make this work.  (Voice recognition software stands ready to hear me read in what I've written--likely by hand, since that only irritates one hand while typing angers both hands.) 

The last post(s) I write for this month (probably posted early next month will likely be when I force myself to look at each book I read in prep and figure out what I might be able to learn/thieve/borrow from each.  If I don't make myself stop and reflect, I'll just tear through them at speed.  While this strategy is a good one to get more voices into my head, so I can have lots of voices to guide me/choose from as I write, there needs to be something intentional in the mix, too.  Wish me luck on translating that all into a novel in one month.  : )

I think it's kind of a lie to call it a novel, even.  I really just plan to write short stories/chapters/vignettes without really caring if they will all fit the overall themes and without editing.  In the end, I hope to have a huge pile of stuff I can pick through and edit into something more coherent and unified.  Sound like a plan?  Anyone else who's always wanted to try it want to join me? 

Since the blogs are about discipline, I will still try to get my 8 posts a month, but if they are short or more erratic, it's because I consider the big writing to also be evidence of discipline.  : )  If the bloggings are slim in November, now you'll know why. 

Still on the shelf October 2012

Oh, books.  I'm drooling over you, but I'm trying to be an adult here and do responsible things on the weekend instead of drowning in you.  Soon the last applications will be completed and vacations will be had, and books will be read.  Oh, yes, they will.

• Bitterblue by Kristin Cashore:  This author has turned out two excellent books that take place in the same world.  The books were very different.  I am looking forward to a third excellent book that is also very different.
• Clockwork Prince by Cassandra Clare: Leave me alone.  : ) The dialogue is fun, and these characters have had less time to become tiresome.  It's a weird paranormal/steampunk vibe with very polite speech, and I liked the first one, possibly because I am a sucker for demon-drug-addicted-soulful-doomed-guys in books.
• City of Lost Souls by Cassandra Clare: Well, Simon is still pretty much awesome.  I'm really in it for him at this point, if you must know.  Certain other folks need to be kicked in the head until they stop acting like idiots.  Well, they needed kicking in the last book.  Now they need way more help than a swift kick could provide . . .  I must admit a sort of morbid curiosity about the upcoming movie adaptation for the first book.  I suspect it won't be nearly as much fun as the book unless they get some really snazzy actors and actresses. 
• The Fox Woman and Fudoki by Kij Johnson: Even the complaints on Amazon are promising. Something tells me I will adore these, possibly as much as the Tales of the Otori. I hope to find out this winter.
• Goliath by Scott Westerfeld: Will they stop the war?  Will he ever figure out why the perspicacious creature keeps saying Mr. Sharpe so sarcastically?  Will Alec ever get to be emperor and thus never be able to be in a romance with our other main character?  I don't know, but I will find out and then not spoil it for you.
• A Calculus of Angels by J. Gregory Keyes: We move to Russia, which didn't actually get destroyed in the first book, but the fallout from said book is pretty fierce even there.  That's all the further I've gotten, but I am looking forward to a day taking up a chair at Panera by the fireplace and finding out what on earth happens next in this fantasy/alternate history weirdstravaganza.
• A bunch of tween books: I don't know which ones yet, but I figure I ought to fill up the tank before I tackle my just-graduated-from-sixth-grade narrator for National Novel Writing month, which I can probably participate in since I have not destroyed any of my fingers in the last couple of months (fingers crossed).  I'm still not 100% there with the recovery from the August of 2011 smashing, but I'm told the nerves will eventually grow back right as rain.  Got any suggestions?  (For books, not for finger remedies.)  Finding contemporary-ish 11-13 protagonists in non-genre fiction isn't easy.  Good thing I like to read a lot. : )

So what's on your slate coming up?  Any books you've been saving to savor when you have more time?

Regret vs. Common Sense vs. Expectations vs. Peace

And then there's this simple question from the doctor:

"You've been in pain from this for 5-and-a-half years, and this is the first time a doctor is seeing it? "

Well, yes.  Funny how that happened.  I fell and landed on my back and then saw doctors for that and then had physical therapy.  At physical therapy, they improved my back, and my hip started hurting.  The PT folks said to come back if the hip didn't improve on its own.  When it still hurt a few years later and I had a better job, I went to PT for it without seeing a doctor.  It makes sense.  But five and a half years?  Is my sense of pain and my way of dealing with it so screwed up that I would let this thing happen to me when I would not let it happen to another?

The regrets start again. 

What if
I had gone
right when it
started hurting
or at least earlier
than 5 years? 
Could I have prevented something?  Lessened
some damage?  Did my lack
cause this more serious hurt?
Could this regret have been prevented?

Common sense intrudes. 

And when
would you have found
time for this?  And money? 
And energy?  You did not
have these things.  Let go.  Learn.  Move on. 
Stop hurting yourself more
over the hurt you may
or may not
have done yourself. 
Be at peace.
Live now. 
Go.

I try to convince myself not to expect the worst.

Maybe it's not torn cartilage or arthritis.  Maybe it is something to do with the natural structure and inflammation, and it can be fixed.  Maybe the flying pigs can fix it after they stop this sick feeling in my stomach which may be more related to allergies than stressing out about imaginary potential hip surgery it will be hard for me to afford.  Or not so imaginary tests involving needles in my hip and how debilitated I was from needles in my wrist.

Be at peace, dagnabbit.  Why won't you listen? 

Worrying won't help.  God is with you.  
You'll be fine no matter what happens.

Clutch towel. Don't panic.

Breathe in.  Breathe out. 

New Terry Pratchett Book!!!!!!!! (I'm a little excited.)

Yes, it's another Tiffany book, no doubt chock full of Wee Free Men and hilarious regional dialog!  It's called I Shall Wear Midnight, and it comes out September 28th!  Eeee!

You might want to pre-order it now.  You can get it for a smidge over $9 at Borders and a couple of other places (and if you go to the store and pre-order it, you can get free shipping), but that won't last very long.  Oh, I'm so happy!

Any fall releases that have you giddy?

Four reasons to look forward to this year in books

There are some authors I just kind of adore. Some of them are mid-paced writers, others fast, others slow, so what are they chances they will all have books coming out in the same 12 months? Not likely. Hot dog, it's a dream come true!

• Jim Butcher's Side Jobs in October: Okay. I would buy this one just because it has a short story about what Murphy finds when she comes back to pick Harry up after the end of the last book, but it also collects a lot of other Dresden shorts, so hooray all around.  I'll admit, the "hat" still bothers me, but it's a running joke, so I can deal with it.
• Lois McMaster Bujold's Cryoburn in November: I know she wasn't very keen on writing another Miles book, but I don't care! I am so happy to have a new Miles book! SO HAPPY! At this point, she is more than good enough that I trust she wrote a great book even if it was sort of against her will. Happy birthday to me!
• Patrick Rothfuss' Wise Man's Fear in March: I have spoken of this book with longing. I truly hope it delivers. Either way, I will get to read The Name of the Wind again, and it will be glorious.
• Jim Butcher's Ghost Story in March: Jim Butcher is an evil man.  In a good way. He has all sorts of evil plans for Harry Dresden, and I kind of want to read them all right now. Alas. At least he's the fastest of the bunch because if he's really planning 23 books total, I want us both to be alive to finish them.

See?! There is much to be excited about. MUCH!

Plotting from left field

I'm watching this show right now where the plot keeps twisting and turning.  There's a lot of conflict and fighting and philosophy and moral quandaries and horrible, awful tragedy.  The plotting is pretty brilliant.  Every so often, things start lining up so that you can see a future that doesn't involve characters dying horribly or living miserably.  Then, something screws it all up beyond repair, and things get worse. 

It's kind of brilliant but dangerous.  It has that feeling of thrill, like what you feel when you think it would be fun to run down a hill and realize part of the way down that gravity has taken over.  You want things to end well, but you don't know if they can (or if you can hold on until they do).

One reviewer mentioned that this tactic is dangerous because it can't be kept up indefinitely.  Maybe people will only watch until they think there's no more hope for anyone's happiness?  I guess it's different if you go in knowing it's all tragedy and that the ending will leave a lot of people crying, but many people won't even start a show like that because they don't like that feeling of hopelessness and fate/destiny.



What do you think?  Will you start a show or book if you don't know how things will end up in terms of tragedy? 

What do you do when a character dies?

If you reread books, what do you do when you're coming up on a character's death?  Some books I've read dozens of times, and when I know someone will be dying again soon, sometimes I start crying earlier in anticipation (The Warrior's Apprentice is especially rough if you read it again after reading Shards of Honor and Barrayar).  Every moment that character is "on-screen" seems more momentous and precious (or maybe just more valuable somehow) because I know the end is coming.

The recent spate of parallel novels has given me a new way to re-experience a character's death, and it can be pretty hard.  Ender's Shadow by Card had me reeling.  More recently, Zoe's Tale by Scalzi was really hard to get through.  A character who was peripheral in The Lost Colony became a main character because of the change in point-of-view for Zoe's Tale.  He turned out to be a really great character.  The more I got to know him, the more sad I felt, anticipating his tragic loss.   It was a bit like making friends with someone with a terminal illness.  Their time is strictly limited, and you have to be present every moment you have with them.

How do you prepare for or deal with a character's death on re-reading?  Does the foreknowledge of death make the next read-through more poignant for you, or does it just make you detach?