Why I'll probably never be that teacher

To be that teacher,

• I would probably need to get a PhD.  Not because it would make me a better teacher, but because schools like that, and they prefer to hire people with doctorates.
• I would need to be able to teach at least a couple of adjunct classes a semester every semester for several years to gain experience.  Better yet, I would need to be able to devote myself to adjunct teaching full time for several years.  Most places like experience, even if they don't know what kind of teacher you are. You need experience to make them even care to look into what kind of teacher you are.
• I would need to pursue publication seriously.  Not that publication is a sign that your writing is necessarily better than others, but having a publication record is important to schools, especially ones that want to be seen as serious schools.

Even if I could do all of these things, it would still not guarantee me a chance to try to be that teacher.  However, if I can't do these things, the chance of me ever getting to try to be that teacher is basically 0.  And the truth is that I can't really do these things.  Story of my life recently.  I don't have the time, money, energy, lowered standards, or stubborn willpower needed.  I am broken and hurting and not sleeping well and not at my mental best. It's all I can do to hold down a full time job with benefits to help me pay for all the medical treatments and medications. 

I have been thinking about dreams again lately.  I have wanted to teach since I was in high school, and I have taught, so that dream has come true.  If I'm honest, I'll also admit that what I wanted to do was teach full time.  If I pursue this desire, I will have to sacrifice many other things for the possibility that I may be able to do what I want and think I am gifted at. 

A problem is that I want to help people in my church and community now.  If I choose to live in the future in my dream, I sacrifice the good I can do now.  And that feels selfish to me right now.  Other people who are slaving and sacrificing for their dreams maybe don't feel that way, and I think that's fine for them.  More power to 'em.  But I don't think I can plan ahead like this anymore.  I think I want to help concretely now.  I want to be that teacher, too, but maybe some wants are more important than others.  Maybe those things are what I should be wanting more.

What do you think?

Wise Man's Fear

Should I start rereading name now in case the book comes out early (even though I'm pretty sure this one is a hard lay-down date and not a soft one)?  I don't want to finish too early and then have to wait, but if I wait too long, I'll still be reading Name of the Wind while Wise Man's Fear looks at me mournfully from the To Read Shelf.  Oh, the agony!

Have you started rereading yet?

The Stainless Steel Rat and the Job Interview Adventure

So, I was really early for my interview.  At least, I would have been if the information the interviewer gave me had been correct.  Just pick up a parking sticker at the guardhouse on the way in, she said.  It's on my way; the streets are one way.  An extra 20 minutes should be more than sufficient, even if I have to park in the lot furthest from the building I need to get to.

At the guard shack, I see a note that tells me to go to the safety office to get my pass.  Where is the safety office?  I don't know.  I have no idea.  I am sure it isn't anywhere close to where I need to go because Murphy is a close friend of mine. 

Sure enough, it is not close.  I eventually find the building.  There are no parking spaces for visitors or anyone else.  I park illegally.  I can't find my hazard flashers.  I do not have time for this.

I enter the building and see that the security office is on the lower level.  There is a stairway right next to the sign.  I hoof down it to discover that I am in some sort of Twilight Zone cul-de-sac that has nothing to do with security.  I run back up the stairs.  I look vainly for any indication of how to get where I'm going.  I see nothing.

I enter the nearest office and look for a sign.  I find one.  Security Office this way.  I go this way.  There is no security office.  There are no stairs.  There is no elevator.  I pant.

I turn around and see another sign pointing in the opposite direction of the first.  This one, too, claims to be the security office.  I am doubtful, but I am also in a tearing hurry, so I try it.  Eventually, many signs and a scary stairway later, I arrive.

Security is very . . . relaxed.  They are not in a hurry at all.  They have no easy access to an exit.  I would not feel particularly trusting if I had to call them in case of an emergency.  Eventually, they are suspicious about why I need a parking pass, but even more eventually they believe me and fill one out.  At a some-might-say leisurely pace.  Slowly. 

I retrace my steps at a dead run.  It is still 80 degrees with 150% humidity.  I am wearing a black suit.  I am perspiring.  I am not sure I will be able to get back over to my building around all the one way streets and construction, so I park at the first space I find and limp/run, taking every shortcut I can, trying not to get hit by cars since the sidewalks are blocked off by construction.  I am carrying a ridiculously heavy attache with my portfolio and other professional looking stuff.  Students laugh at me as I pass.  I sweat at them.

I am two minutes late.  I am seriously sweating, and I can't take off my suit jacket because they will be able to see the sweat on my shirt, and this will not make them think I am professional.  Everything I've ever read has said that being late to an interview dooms your chances completely.  I am panting and convincing myself I am not asthmatic because my inhaler is in the car in my coat pocket probably melting in the heat.  I am most likely slightly wild-eyed at this point.  I find a stairway (lovely vaulting) and head up.

Sweat is dripping down my face, and I have no hand to wipe it with.  My hair is wild.  I see that I am on the far side of the building from where I need to be.  A very long, plushly carpeted hallway stretches out before me for a very long time.  Joy.  Then I see two people I recognize from my research into my interviewers, and my desperation is enough of a cue for them to identify me.

They ask, was the construction a problem?   I tell them, Honestly it was the running around trying to get a parking pass that was a problem.  They look at me blankly, and I explain.  They shake their heads, That's not what they told us, sorry for the confusion.  We head to a conference room.  It is closed.  When they get the key, we head in, and the room is not air-conditioned.  Alas.  Spring in the midwest. 

I am a sweaty, frazzled mess, and the interview hasn't even started. I am trying to be graceful as I push hair away from my face and try to wipe away beads of sweat as they fall.  I do not look professional.  I probably do not smell professional.  I am late.  I am doomed.


I remember this great scene in one of Harry Harrison's hilarious Stainless Steel Rat books (maybe Gets Drafted?) where the cheerfully anarchistic SSR explains how to beat a lie detector test: you work yourself up to a state of paranoia and doom before they start, and you let yourself calm down as they conduct the test.

Apparently, this works in job interviews, too because as the sweat dries and my body cools down into focused, serious discussion mode (wherein my limbs usually become freezing cold), things go fairly smoothly.  By the end of the interview, we are having a good time, and I look somewhat competent. 

One of the interviewers even gives me a ride to where my car is parked, and we talk a little more.  Apparently, she calls the next person I am interviewing with and recommends me favorably.

So that's why you should read science fiction.

:)

6 books in the queue (patience)

I did it!  I waited until two different trilogies were out before starting them!  This is what can happen when you pay attention.

John Twelve Hawks' third book came out recently, so I'm ready to start The Travelers. 

C.C. Finlay's alternate history fantasy trilogy was published using the new trilogy-published-in-a-three-month-span strategy people are trying out. (Brent Weeks' Night Angel Trilogy from Orbit was the first big success story of this kind, I think.)  Finlay has multiple degrees in history, and he loves to write, so he decided to combine the two loves, and we have the Traitor to the Crown series as a result.

There are apparently a lot of historically inexplicable things that happened around the Revolutionary War, so Finlay grabbed those and came up with a plausible explanation: there was a magical battle going on behind the scenes of the war with British and American magic users tearing at each other.  Kind of fun.  The Patriot Witch is the first one, and I'm looking forward to reading it soon.

Any other trilogies published at once that you've taken note of or read?  Do you like the idea?  Only if it's published in cheapie paperback?