Recovering from the Fair, maybe catching up, cautiously optimistic about things maybe?

It is a very good thing this was a holiday weekend.  Spent most of it teetering between collapsing and puttering around half-brainedly in a fog.

#FeelingALittleBitLimpAndEnnervated  #AndInNeedOfSomeWatersideMingling

I was pleased that this was still mysteriously on my deck.  I forgot to take a picture before I went home on leave.  

#It'sProbablyNotAVoodooDoll

Like I said last week, I did my best to let this blister heal.  Interestingly, the special bandages I used did not stay on as advertised.  I couldn't really keep one from wrinkling up and starting to detach for more than 1 day.  When I got back to my apartment, the bandage had sort of . . . melted into my sock.  I have had no luck detaching it.  So now I have an extra single sock, and it is luckily of the type I bought 3 pairs of last year.  If you have any suggestions about how to save this sock, let me know.  : D

#It'sAScienceMystery

I had some breathing space at work this week.  Just hit that part in the process where all my work was done and the next step is where it's all collected.  Was able to get my head above water enough to frantically try to catch up on some of the things I've had to ignore.

#IReallyNeedToBeBetterAtThis  #ThinkingAboutHowICanIntegrateItInMyProjects

#SeeAbove  #TakingTheWin

I got this mysterious message from my activity tracker again.  My numbers were . . . rough for a while there, and it wants me to know it's proud of me for . . . whatever I did to make things better?    

#IGuessMaybeIDoRewardMyselfForSurvival

This morning at the cafe where I got these goodies to take home for the week was wild.  I generally try not to be judge-y or prejudiced against groups of people, but this was a #BoomersBeingFools moment that kind of floored me.  It's a small cafe with only a few places to sit outside (important for me, as I am still masking up and trying to be Covid cautious) and even fewer that are shaded.  These 3 boomers had taken over 2 of the tables with shade and had finished their food and drink long before I arrived on the scene.  Their dog, who was a good dog but was obviously starved, spent every other minute giving me soulful looks in case I wanted to share my quiche with it.  The dog was the best part of this interaction.

#PhoneInexplicablyDecidedMyShadowWasTheFocus

When I entered their story, they were discussing their recent cruise.  Mr. Boomer listed all the details.  Then he said something along the lines of, "We went to this one place, and there were turtles everywhere.  So many turtles!  Everywhere!  I don't know what those scientists who say sea turtles are endangered or whatever.  They're wrong.  There were so many turtles."

#ThatBeatOfSilence

I was sort of stunned and bemused and a little bit in despair.  Friend, I thought, is that really logical?  People who study this across all the oceans and know how many turtles are needed to continue the species and have actual evidence and numbers and are experts in this because it is probably their lives' work say a thing based on facts and knowledge, but because you, a single, untrained and unlearned individual saw "a lot of turtles" in one place at one time, your individual experience is more true and correct than actual facts and should be acted on by stopping efforts to conserve? 

#SometimesItOnlyTakesAMinuteOfNonsenseToDrainMe

It's possible I was being uncharitable because I was forced to sit in the sun while they were taking up the shade, but, no, I think he was just being an idiot.  In the end, they left when they were chased away by the surly yellow jackets.  I know this because he called whoever they were going to hang out with next to say they were coming over to sit on their porch in the shade because they got chased away by the yellow jackets trying to eat their crumbs on their empty dishes while other customers were forced to bake in the sun.

#Seriously?!

I packed it in and walked all the way back.  Took the route through the graveyard (there's a stretch along the street where there is no sidewalk, so you can walk in the (busy) road or the bike lane or the graveyard).  Took time to stop and observe the fun late summer things.

#Don'tKnowWhatThisIs  #Pretty

As usual, dysautonomia meant my heart rate did its own thing.  I walked at a steady pace, and . . .

#MyBrainJustDoesn'tKnowWhatToTellMyHeartToDo  #BlessItsHeart

Had some good conversations this week about the next phase of work stuff.  Not with anyone who "matters," just with the great, dedicated people doing the work.  Most of this team is operating outside their native language and not onsite, and I am the hinge that is connecting the folks onsite and this team, and I feel like we're getting to a better place, and I love that feeling on a project when things are coming together instead of flying apart.  

#SavorTheOtherStopsOnThePendulum

#ThisActuallyHasn'tBeenHappening  #MostlyBecauseISeemToBeAwakeMostOfTheEarlyMorning  #Ugh

I am looking forward to being home again and being able to meet more regularly with my pain psychologist.  I miss talking to her every month.  Remote visits are real, but the laws that restrict them to travel in your own state are also real.  If you are able to meet regularly with your mental health professional, please do it!  

#Don'tTakeItForGranted

Are you ready for the Fair?!

#WearingMyFairT-Shirt  #AtTheFirstParkAndRideITried  #OnTheSecondBus!  #AStateFairMiracle  #OnThisDayOfSweatIUsedStuffInMyHairToKeepItOffMyFace  #WithMiddlingSuccess

There are things I miss when I am not at my Minnesota home.  My shower's water pressure.  My dark, cool cave of a bedroom.  Blues and greens and blue-greens everywhere.  My hammock on the deck.  My friends.  Summer cicadas.  The sound of crickets.

#IDoNotMissThis  #FieUponThis  #IBiteMyThumbAtThis  #UnlessICanBeAnUnmovingObjectOnMyHammockInTheShade

Day 1 at the MN State Fair was warm and moist.  Not nearly as warm and moist as the day after it, but more on the wacky weather treats Minnesota gave me on this home leave later.

#BreakfastOfChampions  #NoLine  #ThisWasASeriesOfStateFairMiracles  #PBWhippedCreamPancakeCoveredBacon

I worked a shift at the outside window, and it was rough.  The ipad, cash drawer, and I were locked in mortal combat for 5 hours.  I lost.  Afterward thought of many ways I could have done that better.  But here is a picture of me being SO CAREFUL not to roll my ankle while taking my knee brace off due to sweat soaking through while I just stood there and thought mean things about touchscreens and smiled at lots of strangers and encouraged them to try our new espresso-based beverage that did NOT taste much like licking a tree at all!

#NoMarginForError  #OneFalseMoveAndIWouldHaveRolledEverythingSideways

The reward for volunteering is actual food.  I have now ingested my yearly quantity of hamloaf.  

#ItIsAGoodThingIDon'tHaveAccessToCornRegularly  #OrTheSweetCornbreadTheyServe

Fine art dump:

    

#SelectedArtDump  #SoManyPictures

I stopped by the donut booth (near the Fine Art Building) that had lines a mile long (literally) last year.  The line was totally reasonable at 4 in the afternoon.  Grabbed a donut to lug around with me and take home.  Then . . .

#Whee  #IfIPlanItRightICanSeeMoreOfTheFairWithoutOverdoingIt

This stuff was totally worth the blister.  Paella.  In Minnesota.  At the State Fair.  That was Excellent.  

#EvenIfITookIssueWithTheirSlogan  #NOTTheHotDishOfSpain  #ISavoredThisWhileTryingToGetPainLevelsDown

I checked out a couple of the vendors selling exercise equipment, as I am in love with the recumbent bike in the basement of my building here and decided that I would spend an adult amount of money on one that is sturdy and meets all my needs instead of getting the second cheapest kind like I did with my treadmill 9 years ago.  Then I found out that they started at 3X the adult amount of money I was considering, which was 9X as much as I had spent on my treadmill (so overall recumbent bike would be 27X as much as I had spent on my treadmill).  The second place I checked it was double that amount.  #Disappointing

I always get a re-entry stamp just in case, and it's kind of fun trying to figure out what it is.

#MaybeACornDog?

#Yeah  #SorryAboutThatBody  

My original plan called for a complete day of rest after this.  Instead, I worked a 10 hour day.  Which was even hotter and more humid than the one I volunteered at the fair during.  There were HUGE storms and some eerie-cool lighting.

 

#ICouldNotSeeOutOfMyHouseDueToCondensation

Then I worked an 11 hour day.  And then saw my church small group folks in person for a short time.  Grabbed some things to try to treat the blister that I was pretty excited about.  It was novel to get home and NOT have just holes in my skin from the braces.  I had a single, proper blister!  And it hadn't burst, and I was determined to keep it that way, so I was prepared.

Then MOAR FAIR!  Second Park & Ride was the charm.  Second bus again.  The State Fair Miracles continued.

#NotABreakfastOfChampions  #ActuallyMightHaveBeenAGoodLunchBurgerWaffleThing  #NotTerrible  #JustPreMadeAndSoggyAndHalfUndercookedHalfOvercooked  #TastyEnoughToGetMoving

I would like to take this time to thank my wrist brace, ring splints, and the hilarious little bag my mom gave me decades ago when her company had an ill-advised ad campaign called "PrintMyThing" that exactly fit my rain coat, hat, and all the braces.

 

#GladItWasNotAsHotAndHumidThisDay  #NeverWouldHaveBeenAbleToGetTheSplintsOnOrOff #AtTheDiningHall  #WaitingToHelpMeNotBendMyFingersBackwards

I tried the wild rice cranberry Swedish meatball sliders.  I would like to publicly apologize to the wild rice cranberry Swedish meatballs at the dining hall.  I looked forward every year to getting the regular Swedish meatballs (you have no idea how much, especially when I was living under the poverty line), and then one year, all of a sudden they were gone and were replaced by fancy, new meatballs, and I never gave them a chance.  At least on these sliders, they were dynamite.  Please accept my apologies for being a jerk to you all these years, new meatballs.  I also tried the espresso-based beverage, and it was genuinely not objectionable.  Seriously cool and refreshing, gluten free, dairy free, full of cinnamon and cardamom and other delightful spices to cover up the licking-a-tree flavor of espresso!  Victory!

#NoStuffInHairBecauseNotAsHotAndHumid  

#RegrettableDecision  

#HAIR-TOUCHING-FACE-ALL-DAY-UGHHHHH

I was out of gas and knew it (and wanted to protect my blister), but I made sure to stop by this place during an off-peak time, and there was, again, no line!!!!  Also note that I was being very good about not adding the stress of a ton of foods my body reacts badly to, and it was all still delicious.  Well done, State Fair.

#SoGood  #SweetPotatoesAreAmazing  #StateFairMiracle

My body was quite done then, so I packed it in and headed back to the sky ride.  There were lots of other people there, so I think the Fair did okay even though I left early.

#HiPeopleWithEnergy  #AndHopefullyLessPain

One more for the road.

#YouCanTellSheIsNotGoingToLikeWhatHerActivityTrackerSays

 

#Yikes  #Sorry  #AFairDayAllAround  #Snicker

Managed to work another long day (that I should have spent mostly unconscious) and then part of another and then got a few errands run.  Saw my MN chiropractor, and he said I seemed stronger, and I take that as a good sign.  Especially after several weeks of overdoing it with work and trying to compensate outside of it.

#TheseAreCupHoldersAtREI  #You'reWelcome

Then, finally, a couple more hours on the hammock.  It was cooler that day, so I had to use my lightest blanket.  Some nice dramatic sunlight.  

#Cozy  #Ahhhhh

In Fair conclusion:

• Cicada Chorus = 11 out of 10
• Holes worn into my feet by my ankle braces = <1
• Food eaten: Too much (mostly amazingly delicious)
• Steps: Too many
• Cool Art Seen: Correct amount

As the season turns, I hope you enjoy the fuubutsushi!  Now that I'm leaving MN, the weather is scheduled to become totally reasonable.  Enjoy!

Are we on leave yet? (No. Then yes. But not really.)

Another week of not-quite-disaster.  Some very long days. 

#MyCollegeRoommatesWhoHadToDealWithMy9PMBedtimeMightBegToDiffer

One of my recent frustrations has revolved around a team member who is at the job title level that I was denied.  He, too, is male.  He, too, has less experience and fewer successes than I do.  He, too, is supposed to be dedicated to this integration at work for a year.  He has no experience with manufacturing technical writing, but he is, for the love, a principal TW.  He agreed to help.  He agreed to own 6 documents and to get them done on certain deadlines.  I was trusting him to be a mature, competent team member.  I needed him to pick things up quickly, communicate clearly and regularly, and ask for help when he needed it.  I needed to be able to spend more time helping out the junior people on the team, including the intern who has literally never done any of this before.  In short, I needed him to be a principal level TW.  And he failed hard in every possible thing on my list.

#I'veBeenTooBusyAndHurtyToReadMuch  #ButTruth!

I wonder if it would be this irksome if I weren't still wrestling with the whole, "We didn't consider you for the promotion because we didn't believe that someone with your skills and abilities would want to stay here, so we gave it to the younger, less experienced, less successful, male person who doesn't really have any other skills outside of tech writing that we know we can keep if we promote him even though he has no interest in actually working at this level and his talents lie at the senior level unlike you" sadness and burnout that made me come to Canada in the first place. 

#YouAndMeBothCicadasAndIssa  #ThisOneMadeMeLaugh

There are some GREAT principal-level people I have worked alongside and pulled through deadlines with.  But there are also some terrible principal-level people who are bad at work (especially teamwork and communication) and seemingly impervious to consequences for not being good at working, and they are, so far, all male.  Could be totally a coincidence.  But the frustration is so real.

#FoodIsAlsoReal  #EvenIfItWasn'tTasty  #MaybeTearsWouldHaveHelped  #NeededMoreSalt  #NotSomethingIEverExpectedToThinkAboutRamen

This is the week I realized he was, in fact, failing at every aspect I needed him to succeed at.  And he was also (possibly illicitly this time) working while on a cruise again.  So while I'm hurting myself trying to make up for his failures (and not being able to), he's off on a cruise getting paid to work but not actually working?  He needs me to do some of the work he flaked on next week while I am supposed to be on leave and vacation, and I just can't.  I will be working through the break and took my vacation days off the calendar, but even then, I can't make up for what he didn't do.  And I can't fix the things he did wrong.

#Let'sPauseToAppreciateWhatTheContructionFolksAreDoingHere

And I need to talk to him about it because I don't want the first time he hears about my disappointment to be when I send his boss the feedback that he failed at everything.  And I hate that kind of conversation, especially in situations where I am, as they say, leading without authority.  (No, I do not want to be a manager.  I just want people to manage themselves and do their jobs they signed up for or communicate if and why they can't while there's still time to fix their mistakes.)

#NeedingSomeOfThatWillowEnergyIssa  #ButNotTheMopeyDramaticWeepingWillowEnergy

On the plus side, I will have 2 volunteer days at the Fair, probably one more than I should have, and I have plans to make sure I do not literally cripple myself this time.  Let's see if I can pull it off!  Stay tuned!

#Preach

Today, I finally made it home and got to spend a few glorious hours on the hammock!  Theoretically napping, but my heart rate was uninterested in this activity and decided that lying bonelessly (supported with knee tape) on the hammock was like running from a lion.  

#Oh,Dysautonomia,YouChucklehead  #Sigh

In what I am trying NOT to take as an omen, this sad friend was with me on the deck.  Which was not stained, apparently, because it needs to be repaired, but the people who are supposed to check on that never told me, so now I'm out the money for deck staining without any deck staining actually taking place.  #JustSayNoToOmens

#IHopeItIsFrolickingInTheBigLakeInTheSky  #WhereThereWillBeNoBiteyMosquitoes  #NeedToStopOverthinkingThis

#Sometimes  #ButProbablyNot

#Ahhhhhhhhhh  #HammockTime  #TreasuredEvenInLimitedQuantities

Hope you are letting yourself get the rest you need.  And stocking the wine cellar of books if you can.  Hang in there, friends!  This, too, shall pass.  Then there will be more time to read.

#ReadDon'tWine