Audiobook Narrator Stalking Euan Morton on Free Library Apps

I'm kind of narrator stalking Euan Morton right now.  I first heard him in Jim Butcher's swashbuckling sci-fi The Aeronaut's Windlass, and he was fantastic.  He has this swoon-worthy baritone hero voice he uses for Benedict . . .  Then I found out he'd narrated a couple of Guy Gavriel Kay's historic fantasy books, one of which involved Troubadours (Song for Arbonne), and by I was hopelessly voice crushing.  He seems to have a tremendous amount of fun and talent, and his voices are generally distinct enough to recognize clearly. 

More recent listens were completely different.  They were comedies by Christopher Moore, and they were incredibly bawdy and full of inappropriate (and sometimes hilarious) humor. The first (Fool) was like an offstage comedy version of King Lear.  Moore made it work, really.  It's fascinating to see how he can twist things that didn't happen onstage until he has an extremely R-rated version that is not a tragedy (for the Fool, anyway) and ends up matching exactly.  I might actually finally read King Lear now that I will have this story happening in the background . . .   

For Moore next trick, he crashes the Fool character into The Serpent of Venice, a mashup of The Merchant of Venice, Othello, and a somewhat random short story that must have involved a sea serpent who (in this version) eats a number of the characters in the two Shakespeare plays that really should have been eaten in the originals but were not.  As that last sentence indicates, he did NOT adhere to the actual play this time.  Morton's best voices in this one (aside from the Fool) are the villainous Iago and the heroic but dumb Othello. The afterward about how Moore crammed it all together was fun, too.  And I apologize to the older lady at the physical therapy pool while I was listening to this one.  I suspect you think I am insane.  I hope you noticed the earpiece and didn't just think I was barking with random laughter.  A lot.  I think my favorite part was when Morton was playing Portia (a rich young lady) pretending to be an adolescent boy genius lawyer.  The Quality of Mercy speech is a totally different experience when the actor's voice keeps cracking HORRIBLY at the most serious parts.

After that, I decided to give a listen to Carry On, a YA novel by Rainbow Rowell.  It is, lets be honest, a Harry Potter x Draco Malfoy fanfiction, but do NOT let its derivative nature make you think it's not worth your time.  The final product is a completely different world and characters distinct enough to work for your Harry and Draco needs (if you had them) while still being their own strong characters.  The things this book says about loneliness, self-loathing, and feeling monstrous when we are teenagers/young adults are important and well done.  Harry Simon is a totally believable dork.  The mage is charismatic through voice alone.   Also, Draco Baz has this amazing baritone voice that goes from sneering to vulnerable with complete believability.  You want to give him a hug and hit Harry Simon on the head with a rolled up newspaper when he's an insensitive clod, even as you agonize about how sort-of evil he is (just not in the ways he hates himself for being evil).

Basically, if I ever write a book, and someone wants to make it an audiobook, I will want Euan Morton to read it.

The Audition

It was my first audition in years, and I am so very rusty.  There were three songs to choose from, and she said she wanted us to work on them in advance so that we really knew them when we were auditioning.  After I finally got access to a piano, I came to the conclusion that I really only had time to get one piece truly audition-ready, so I chose the one that I loved when I first heard it and it sent glorious shivers down my spine.  (The other two were ugly in the recordings I heard because they had opera soloists doing the small ensemble parts, but they were terrible at singing together, and it became this horrible contest of every soloist trying to upstage the others and making ugliness instead of music.)  I spent every spare moment of four days lovingly preparing a performance-worthy audition of that song I loved.  I practically had it memorized, and I had all the dynamics and line shaping mapped out.  I was very nearly ready for anything.  It probably would have gone better if that song were actually used for the audition.

Instead, bits of the other two songs were used.  And I had never really heard them, especially not my parts.  And I suck at sight reading.   While the men auditioned elsewhere, I vampired off other ladies who could sight read (music-by-ear is a gift and sometimes a curse) to pick up one of the parts, but then we had to audition, and I was kind of flustered by the new music and focused on somehow trying to give a performance when I'd never even seen it until that day and getting the totally unfamiliar notes right, and I was reminded of why I hated group work in gym class.  Group jump-roping routines, in particular, taught me that being right (on the beat, executing moves properly, etc.) sometimes matters less than blending in (rhymed with giving in and lowest common denominator and failure). 

I wish I had remembered that before I started singing at the audition.  We were auditioning for small group pieces.  Being on the right note on the right dynamic doesn't really matter if others are making a different (wrong) chord, and you are the only one who is right or you are beautifully bringing out the drama of the line as the dynamics are written to shape it, and everyone else is singing the same (wrong) dynamic.

It was hardly an embarrassing disaster.  I wasn't having an asthma attach from other people's perfume.  I didn't totally make a fool of myself.  Things could have been way worse.  So.  I suppose this is a good learning experience.  I need to remember to listen when I am doing group work and blend in.  Someday, maybe I will learn this lesson for real, and it will stick.  Because the Lord knows I'm not an opera soloist, so I have no excuse.

Jenny Lawson, partner in insomnia

You know what's good to read when you are having one of those Really Bad Nights where sleep is just not happening at all?  Let's Pretend This Never Happened by Jenny Lawson.  Maybe it's not, actually, a good book to read in that situation because it is hilarious (if you are of Jenny's bent) and will make you laugh, and this will do chemical things that make you happy and awake.  But that's just it: if you are going to be awake all night, you might as well be happy about something.  Then, as an added bonus, when you are having difficulty with your impulse control the next day due to sleep deprivation, you can just start giggling randomly about something she said that was laden with profanity and thus unsafe to repeat at work.  Several times.  Just try not to do it in meetings.

Catching Up on "Old" Movies: Juno

Juno was a cute movie.  It was funny, awkward, and sometimes touching.  With all the touching/crying bits at the end, I was kind of surprised they still considered it a comedy, but I couldn't think of any other single category that could encompass the whole thing.  The commentary and deleted scenes (with commentary) were pretty great.  Maybe they were basic film school stuff from the director and snark from the writer, but I find that fascinating.  It seems like maybe it's rare for a director to have so many favorite deleted scenes and such clear explanations of why they were removed.  And learning that some things were done on purpose while others were accidental (unconscious genius, if you wish) was amusing.

The acting was uniformly awesome, especially the bit parts, which is really outstanding.  Everyone shined, even if s/he only showed up for one scene.  The dad was just great, and the stepmother was beautifully done, too.  I was pleased to see the role her best friend was able to play throughout, as well.  Lots of the performances were understated and thus far more believable than what you usually get in a comedy.  (There were some exceptions, like the store clerk in the beginning and Jennifer Garner's character with her not-so-quiet desperation.  They still sort of FIT, though, so it all worked.)

Quirky and amusing movies should be enjoyed, and I watched this one on a long, relaxed holiday weekend.  I am pleased with it overall.