Home leave, (temporary) foot relief, and the consequences of too much sugar

My attempts to dodge daylight savings time change consequences were dodgy at best.  I suppose, in theory, it would have worked had I not been traveling for home leave and trying to do all the errands and all the in persons and messing up my sleep schedule instead of incrementally changing it.  So, even though I didn't plan it this way on purpose this time, if the chance ever comes again, I should not-plan it differently.  Or maybe I just need to accept that it will always be hard until the yahoos in Congress get it together and make it stop.  #DearYahoosInCongressPleaseMakeItStopNow  #ThankYouForThePermissionFunPeopleAtMerriam-Webster

Well, not exactly, Issa, since we pretty much had nothing BUT winter rain in December and January, but more on that later.

While on home leave, not only did I get to appreciate this non-neutral kitchen mat, but I got to have a dishwasher that stays open enough to dry without falling all the way down and causing potentially deadly tripping hazards at random.  #TheThingsWeNeverThoughtWeWouldMiss

#Truth

My water softener has no idea what time it is, and I don't know (or care to know) how to change it.  I only have the stove to actually change, and on mine it's not hard.  It was trickier to get all the clocks at the Canada place updated.  Downdated?

#WeDidNot  #DearYahoosInCongressPleaseSaveUsFromThisAtLeast

There is something satisfying to me as a chronic health condition person on those rare occasions when my activity tracker agrees that I feel as bad as I feel.  Why, yes, activity tracker, I do feel as though I have been run over by something large and heavy.  I think I will switch to rest mode to remove the guilt I might otherwise jokingly feel when I do not meet your random, buggy activity goals for the day.

It might not be fair of my to blame Congress for how bad I was feeling after the DST, two plane flights, and lots of running around in the short time I had.  I am pretty sure that all the sugar I had was a major contributor.  #Hilariously,NoActualPieOrCakeConsumedThisPieDay

I've actually been doing a decent job with my food choices here.  It's too much of a hassle to go to the store much, so less chance to make unwise choices.  When the weather is nice, I go out and get fresh berries at one of the stands down the road and local chicken at the hilariously posh but still ridiculously named MeatyEats.  

#MyKryptoniteInLargeQuantitiesOverSeveralDays

I've been consuming MUCH less refined sugar since I've been here, and I thought it was having a positive effect, but I didn't know for sure until I (for science [okay, and chocolate]) had a LOT of sugar in a short period of time over several days.  Y'all.  My body just . . . couldn't handle it.  It was wild.  The "normal" stuff showed up with the acne and congestion and brain fog, but let me tell you about the heart palpitations and jaw pain and dizziness and terrible cynicism and bad mood and general overall crabbiness.  In conclusion, I think I shouldn't have as hard of a time making good choices around sugar as long as I remember what happened when I didn't.

#HeProbablyWasn'tTalkingAboutChocolate/Refined Sugar  #AndYet

So I'll just settle back into my occasional piece of organic, fair trade dark chocolate at night, which seemed to be tolerated just fine by my body.  

One of the amazing things that happened during this home leave is that I saw my magic chiropractor, and he did some horrible things to my foot, and then I walked down his driveway without pain.  It was amazing.  Then I got into my car, and by the time a week had passed, I was back to the status quo, but for a glorious few days there, I thought maybe I could increase my walking!  Which, let's be honest, may have accelerated the foot's decline back into the pain lane.

On the Friday after I got back, the weather was nice, and my foot was hurting less, so I went on a walk.  Or 3.  I saw these confused (and definitely alive but sleeping) little (big) garden snails hanging out along the way.  #ShhhhThey'reSleeping  #TheyDon'tKnowAboutFakeSpring

I did struggle with that predominant narrative I was seeing for a while that you should never talk about your own experience when someone was sharing theirs because it was selfish and you were trying to "take over" the conversation.  So I kind of like this hot take.  But I do know that there's a difference between bringing up how you relate to a situation and getting so emotional talking about your story that the person who was trusting you to help bear their burden ends up having to spend emotional energy comforting you.  So, thinking about this.

#WithoutFail  #EvenWorseInGTAWhereThereAre27Lanes

Speaking of which, here is the picture of the blue car!  I wasn't withholding it to be coy or because I forgot.  I just . . . hadn't actually taken a picture of it despite intending to 12 times.

#Really  #It'sNotLikeIRealizedAfterTheFactThatIPromisedButDidn'tDeliver  #IMeanNotJustThat  #IAlsoRealizedThenThatIStillHadn'tTakenThePicture  #ButDecidedToLeaveItInToMessWithYou  #It'sALoveLanguageProbably  #Not

Squirrels, scones, Canada/US DST chicken, and the agony of car choice

I have regrets.

And I did, in fact, forget a couple of times.  I wondered why I was so irritable and why the pain was worse, and why I was clumsier and even foggier than the current normal.  #TheAnswerIsAbove #SeeLastPostForGloriousDetails  

The weather has continued to be mild.  Trees have been budding since February.  But there are no plum trees about here that I know of.  I have continued to walk outside when I can, even though the foot has thoughts about this activity.  And I keep thinking of that Sarah's Scribbles comic . . .  #TheFoot'sThoughtsAreMostlyScreaming

#SoonBasho #TooSoon #SeeAbove

#NoActivityTrackerIDoNot #We'veHadThisConversationBefore #ManyTimes #ChronicPainSucks

One thing my chronically pained body always adjusts well to is time changes!  And there's one coming up.  Through a weird alignment of things, I think I might be able to delay its effects until Thursday because I am going to CST on Sunday through Wednesday.  This means I might not start my usual annual foggy crankiness related to time changes (and not french toast) until later in the week!

Also, my colleagues and I in Canada were discussing this, and the Canadians blame us Americans for this mess. #IDon'tBlameThem  They say that Canada can't stop the madness until the US does, and we are . . . not particularly functional due to a certain party in part of the legislative branch at this time for a number of reasons.  So, we're playing DST chicken with actual lives in the balance and please, I don't care which way we pick, can we please just stop doing this?  Thank you!  #MeAndAllTheSavedTrafficFatalitiesAndHeartAttackVictimsWouldThankYou  #IKnowThat'sAllYouNeedToGetThisPassed #PrettyPlease

#IOnlyVisitedOneBookStore #IBoughtNothing #PraiseMe #OrBeWorried #YourChoice

#NotPictured:MatchingSocks #InordinatelyPleasedWithMyself

Transit Adventure 3 has been completed!  Originally, it was going to involve maybe going somewhere for an afternoon tea.  It's probably a good thing none of those are available on Fridays because I would not really have been prepared for the dress code.  And one thing I've learned about myself since I started dying my hair wild colors is that this makes me (a usually unmemorable person) pretty much really memorable.  So no slouching into the formal tea room in my regularly scheduled shirt, raggedy knit pants my knee brace can fit over without tearing up my leg, and horrifyingly beautiful serious winter coat.  #AndLet'sNotTalkAboutTheShoes

#CloseEnoughForCasualFridayIGuess

Now, you may be aware that I am a dining Philistine.  I mostly can't taste due to an unfortunate conjunction of sinus shenanigans, allergies, and having my nose broken 9 times.  #AlsoIGrewUpCulturelessInTheMidwest #AndIWasLivingBelowThePovertyLineForYears 

So I also kind of don't know much about food.  But I have to say that these vaunted fresh buttermilk scones seem indistinguishable to me from buttermilk biscuits.  (And if I you know of my love of buttermilk biscuits from when I had them more regularly [#Like 3TimesAYearInsteadOfNever], you will realize that this is not, as the youths say, throwing shade.)  #ThisIsNotWhatTheYouthsSay #ProbablyTheYouthsHaveNeverSaidThis #LikelyIMisheardSomethingAndNothingCanChangeMyMind

#TasteTheSugarAndCreamAndFluffyWarmScone

Jam and clotted cream are a classic.  They make their own jam.  So many kinds.  If only I had easy access to small quantities of gluten free bread-like things that taste good!  #AGoodThingIDon'tReally  The peach jam had actual peaches in it and the strawberry raspberry whatever was delightful.  They also make an astonishing fresh herb scone with egg and cheese that is a rapturous experience to eat even when you can't taste things.  #Let'sNotTellTheAcupunctureLadyAboutThisEither

I almost didn't post this but then realized I don't hate my future self enough to forget to record this.

#ILeaveSoManyCrypticFacebookPosts #WhyDoYouPutUpWithMe,FacebookFriends #SeriouslyMakeMeTellYouWhatTheMysteriousBookOrFoodIs

My other alternative to awesome tea was chocolate, so I went on a chocolate adventure to bring back amazing chocolates for my church small group just in time for PIe Day.  #TheyAreRoundIsh #CloseEnough #HappyToSupportThisWomanOwnedBusiness #OrAnyoneWhoMakesAmazingChocolatesLikeThis

Then I went to get some tonkatsu.  I . . . want to like it, but . . . 

Not pictured: My food.  I think it was too subtle flavor-wise for me (see above).  Pictured: Is this bike wearing boxing gloves?  If so, why?

#TheyAreGlovesBuiltInToTheBikeHandlesToKeepHandsWarmForWinterDeliveries  #WhichIOnlyKnowBecauseTheBikeDeliveryPersonGotOnTheBikeAndShowedMe #AndPunchingCarsThatGetTooClose #WhichIsAllOfThem #MyHeartCan'tTakeTheBikeCarInteractionsHere

#IThinkMaybeWeHaveDifferentDefinitionsOfAccessible,TTC

Between the wind and putting on and taking off my muffler and mask 47 times, I felt like my barrettes were getting more and more askew as the day went on.  When I got home, I confirmed this fact.

#BarrettesAskewWouldBeAGoodNameForABand

After a long day of agonies and adventures, I arrived home to this amazing sight!  Finally!  The week after I gave up and went out and bought my own kitchen washcloths to horde and hide, the cleaning people left 2 (of the promised 4) washcloths!  

#It'sATransitAdventureFridayMiracle  

I would like to take a moment to say goodbye to my faithful Little Black Toaster That Could Fit Way More Suitcases Than Physics Should Have Allowed.  We were only together for 3 months, and you had seen some hard times before we met.  You were rode hard and put up wet before we met, but if you had not been there in all your scratched, stained, and creaking glory that I probably got fined for even though it came to me in that condition, I would not have been able to get my egregious tonnage of luggage home from the airport.

#ThisWasEarlyInTheDay #BeforeBarrettesAskew

In retrospect, another blessing of picking up the car really late in the day is that there were only 5 choices, and only one of them could fit my luggage, so no other brain matter needed to be used.  Which was good.  I had none left at that time.  #3MonthsAgo #StaringOffIntoTheDistanceMeaningfully

What was terrible this time around early in the day is that there were 94 choices.  But that number didn't really matter because it all came down to 2.  There were two blue cars.  Everything else was boring colors.  Even one of the two blue cars was a boring color of blue but was, at least, technically blue.  Here were the contenders: 

Option	Pros	Cons
TinyCar	Could park this anywhere. Enough room in trunk for my pool PT bag (barely) or a couple bags of groceries. Technically blue, probably more sparkly outside of the dark and dank dungeon area where the cars are punished between uses.	Tiny gas tank. Less good gas mileage. Probably doesn't get up to speed very fast. Not much room for passengers of average adult size. No vent to put my phone holder to put my map at eye level. Entire area over left shoulder is a blind spot.
BeautifulColorCar	Very Beautiful. Blue so beautiful even the dark and dank dungeon area where the cars are punished between uses could not hide its beauty. Bigger gas tank. Slightly better gas mileage. Trunk that could easily fit 2, possibly even 3 adult bodies suitcases. Vent on dashboard to put phone holder to get maps closer to eye level. Enough room to ferry co-workers to and from lunch since they all have carseats they can't remove. I can see over my left shoulder. Slightly higher off the ground for seeing traffic around me.  It is so pretty color.	LongBig Car. Probably hard for me to park and easy to accidentally hit things with. Possibly trendy? People might covet it's loveliness and try to steal it away and hide it in a castle guarded by a dragon.

In the end, after -I am not kidding you- 45 minutes, after I chose the small car because it just wasn't right to choose a car with parking disadvantages just because it was beautiful, I realized that I could see absolutely nothing in the back left quadrant area, so oh no I had to choose the pretty blue car.  #NotPicturedThisTimeBecauseIAmEvil #It'sCalledForeshadowing #OrSuspenseOrSomething #Actually,IJustCouldn'tBearToStayInThatDungeonAnymore #AndForgotToTakeAPictureWhenIGotHome #StayTuned

#ThatRandomMomentOfZenWasProbablyWhenIMadeThe@*$&ingCarDecision #IHopeTheEmployeesWereEntertainedByMyIndecisiveness #TheyHadNoIdeaOfTheWarGoingOnInMyMindBetweenBeautyAndPracticality  #VivaBeauty #WhichMightBeTheNameOfTheCarIfYouDon'tHaveBetterSuggestions

Weather whiplash, chocolate fortunes, and French toast

One of the benefits of this solo journey is that I don't really know what's going on in my current location workplace, so there is less drama about.  And I am really trying to take advantage of that to restore depleted batteries and stock up on rest like it is my (other) job. #InAdditionToPhysicalTherapy #AndSleeping #AndIcing #AndYouGetTheIdea

If you know me, you know that I'm asexual and happily live alone.  Being able to pull up stakes and run to Canada was certainly handy, but I did wonder if it would be a great idea to walk away from all my communities.  Thankfully, I didn't have to.  Praise God for technology, so I can attend and interact with folks at my church every Sunday online and my small group every week online.  Thanks to all for patience with weird wifi and technical difficulties.

I continue to think about what to do "next" when I have to go back to all the drama and (probably only in my head) humiliation.  Right now is an exercise in trying to decide if I want the title that recognizes the level I've been working at for years more than I want familiarity and stability.  I WANT to want what I thought I wanted before all this blew up: to keep doing work I like until I make enough to live off 80% of it, then drop down to 4 days a week in an effort to prolong my ability to make a living.  I really did think that was what I wanted.  But then everything happened, and GOOD GRIEF I have no idea where all that came from, but seeing the title I thought I had earned multiple times over go to someone else less qualified because my kind and caring management is also ragingly incompetent made my head and heart explode.  Which shouldn't have happened if what I really wanted was what I thought I wanted.  #HumansAreComplicated

You probably can't read this fortune that came wrapped around a piece of flirty Italian dark chocolate, but it says, "Even the stones placed in one's path can be made into something beautiful," and I sure hope it's right.  

#BecauseItWon'tCenterForTheLifeOfMe.

I managed to complete all my work really well last year despite feeling like . . . well, all that I was feeling, and I still didn't get an outstanding rating.  Which I shouldn't care about, since I thought I just wanted to get the rating I needed to stay employed.  In conclusion, I have no idea what I actually want, and no idea how to make myself want what I should probably want.  And that's not even the half of it.

Weather has continued to be odd here.  Very mild.  Rare that it's cold and / or windy enough that I can't venture out in my serious winter coat even in mid-winter.  Weather whiplash I'm used to in late March / April is happening now.  #OhMySinuses

Did I seriously let myself get faked out by a couple of random, glorious days of warmth?  I did.  Yes, I sure did.  Not time to retire the serious winter coat yet.  #DefinitelyRememberToCheckTheWeather

It's been tricky to stay hydrated.  Apparently I can do it if I stick to a single routine and a single glass.  Disrupt anything, and I have no idea what's going on.  It's probably never a bad idea to pour more water down my throat.  Especially during winter.  I'm unlikely to poison myself by over-watering.  #SameCannotBeSaidForAnyPlantI'veEverOwnedThatDrowned

Trying to get back into the writing in the notebook habit to prevent blank page syndrome.  We'll get there.  

#Eventually #TheJourneyIsMyHome #SometimesICan'tEvenReadTheWordsIWrote

Honestly?  Doing much better at not doing this.  

It's still hard to just rest when I can, but, y'all, my activity tracker is so proud of me when I do.  Current life goals:

• Get to bed by 9:30
• Not have to ice every day
• Not have to ice twice some days
• Be able to walk around for fun and get lost and find my way again without crippling pain and crippling myself for weeks
• Awaken Well Rested
• Get up in the morning at all in a semi-quickly way
• Be able to handle whatever comes next for work
• Be able to think about what happened at work without feeling incandescent rage, exhaustion, or burnout
• Get whatever is wrong with my left foot to calm the *#@& down
• Hum more
• Sing more
• . . .  

We celebrated Lunar New Year at work, and I brought out my trusty recipe for Taiwanese Nian Gao (with and without red bean paste and with and without sesame seeds [with sesame seeds and bean paste clear winners]).  And then I was faced with a conundrum: What do I do with the leftover eggs I am avoiding due to reactivity issues?  Find some random neighbor to give them to?  Put them in the compost which is required everywhere and is so easy?

The answer was obviously to go out and buy some bread (I was aiming for Brioche) (that I am supposed to be avoiding all the ingredients of due to reactivity issues), get some dairy (that I am supposed to be avoiding due to reactivity issues), and make FRENCH toast.  

Maybe it will all cancel itself out?  #DearReaderItDoesNotWorkThatWay

I looked all over the place Thursday morning and could not find any brioche loaves in the 17 bakeries within walking distance that I tried.  

Finally had acupuncture on Friday (the last healing/pain reduction vector I hadn't gotten set up here yet) where the acupuncture lady talked about how I definitely needed to avoid dairy and sugar.  Then, after acupuncture, I figured I could just look up bakeries near me and find something in the 20 minutes before all the bakeries closed!  At night!  In the heart of downtown Toronto!  In the dark!  At the End of a long week after a short week!  When I have trouble reading my Canada phone and can't figure out how to make the text bigger!  Which has trouble sometimes knowing where it is and sends me the wrong way!  #IPromiseIt'sNotAlwaysUserError  

All this when I was in So Much Pain!  Simple!  #WhatCouldPossiblyGoWrong 

#PainMeansBreadInFrench #JustSaying

Behold my unevenly sliced glory!  

#NoBloodWasAddedToThisRecipe  #AlsoNoSugarWasAddedToThisRecipe #IKnowSomePeopleDoThatToFrenchToast #Whyyyyyy #TheyAreHeathens

#SoIHopeMyAcupunctureLadyDoesn'tGetJudgy #MostlyBecauseIWon'tTellHer #UnlessSheAsks

Egg, dairy, cinnamon, nutmeg, cardamom.  All the butter. 

Cut it all up.  Add maple syrup.  #ThisIsTheWay

Then go to the therapy pool or take a walk or a nice stationary bike ride.  And remind me later this week when I am complaining about being in lots of pain that it was #WorthEveryBite.

"I'll sing this song in the land of my sojourn." - Rich Mullins "Land of My Sojourn"  #SeemsAppropriate  #AlsoHowCanIKeepFromSinging

Home 16: Kitchen

It's pink.  Sigh.  I think it's slightly darker red pink than the intestinal brownish-pink of the bathroom.  The cabinets are a distressing shade of sort of creamy off-white.  My sister found it all rather ugly.  I cannot deny this, but I reveled in having more space then the 3x5 area in my old place.  There's a bit more counter and cabinet space and a lot more light.  There is a cutout facing the window in the study, so it gets some light from there during the day.  It has a backsplash that was the only DIY non-disaster, as far as I can tell.  I will one day (hopefully soon) paint the pink some sort of lovely blue that will somehow match the backsplash.

For now, I enjoy having a dishwasher, a non-leaking faucet, a fridge with a real freezer (even though I can't seem to get the fridge above 20 degrees), and a stove that still technically works despite missing the handle to open and close it and being a bit off in terms of temperature.  The toaster oven is my new best friend and covers a multitude of oven sins.

Overall, I might wish it had a fan that actually vented outside instead of into my face and more space or just not the fake dropped ceiling, so I could store some stuff up there above the cabinets instead and leave more space open on the counters.  If I get that whacked out, I'll have less to paint, too, but I'm sure that's costly and dusty, so I don't know if I should plan on it ever happening.  It's good to be able to use a kitchen again, and I'm already eating healthier as a result.

the same old story (how we doom ourselves by trying to be more healthy)

I need to move more during the day.  My pain and other signs point to this.  So when things got very bad last week, I just set up my desk to stand all day.  For two days in a row.  HEALTHYX2! 

Except for the crippling back and knee pain I left behind when I stopped working retail and being on my feet for 8 hours a day.  "I should stop doing this!" I thought to myself.  "It might be worse for me than sitting all the time."

Except that it's not.  There's lots of science saying the sitting is always very bad and usually worse than not-sitting.  So then I wondered if maybe I should try to work my way up.

And I suddenly wondered if this is a pattern many of us use to doom ourselves in terms of improving our health.  There is a thing that is healthy to do, so we decide to do it.  We do it full bore (without working our way up to it in a reasonable manner), and it hurts, and we simplistically decide it's bad for us because it causes pain, and so we will never do it again.  (Rarely do I take that step back and try to figure out if there's another way to do it that's less stupid.  I'm busy and don't have time to do things that don't work.  Blahblahexcusesmumblegetdistractedandmoveon.)  This is not the first time I've gone through the pattern. 

Well, duh.  Overdoing things causes pain.   Yes, and?  This is not rocket science.  I really should know that the answer is to do things smarter and not harder.  Especially since I started dealing with the chronic pain and working with pain therapists, I should know that I have to start super small and very, very, very slowly work my way up, backing off if I cause bad pain.  Same with changes to diet.  Change one thing for a month.  Then you can think of changing another.  Don't try to change all the things or I end up changing none of the things because I am too overwhelmed and it is too much because I chose to be stupid instead of sensible.

The problem is that I am impatient.  I want to BE THERE doing ALL THE THINGS right NOW, and it hurts, and so then I don't want to do anything, and I end up worse off than I was before.  I am dooming myself. 

Do we all do this?  Is it a way we hurt ourselves?  By being ignorant and silly and not thinking things through?  I suppose it could just be me.  But I doubt it.

Hungry Monkey: Making Me Wish I Had a Cook

b Hungry Monkey: A Food-Loving Father's Quest to Raise an Adventurous Eater by Matthew Amster-Burton:  This was a fun little book about this dad who wanted his child to be a foodie from birth, not a picky eater like all those other kids.  Reality is a bit different, but it doesn't stop him from trying.  Each chapter deals with food in a different context (eating out, farmer's markets, preschool snacks, etc.), and each chapter (except the first) contains recipes, some of which I really want to try eating sometime.  Mmmmm, food.

Got milk (substitutes)?

In case you are looking for a milk substitute, I figured I'd give you some helpful notes from my search.  All of my attempts were original flavors, unsweetened whenever possible.  I tried drinking it straight, putting it in cereal, and putting it in tea.

GENERAL NOTES: If you really are going to use something in place of dairy in your diet, be sure it's fortified with vitamins A&D and has a similar amount of calcium and stuff (or that you are definitely getting these materials through some other foods you have introduced into your diet).  Also, these will not have the taste or consistency of milk at all, so do not expect them to, or your taste buds and gag reflex may hate you.

• Almond milk: What a vile substance this was.  Sure, you can get it sweetened, but I figured if I could also cut some sugar out of my diet, that would be better.  It's actually pretty good as a creamer in hot beverages.
• Rice milk: Even the unsweetened kind tastes slightly sweet.  It's a different kind of sweet from dairy milk, but it's not the pure vileness that was the almond milk.  Because I've broken my nose a lot, I don't have a great sense of taste, so maybe these things will taste much sweeter to you.  That's what makes experimenting interesting.  Winner!
• Coconut milk: Bleh.  Thick and sludgy-oily.  Gross straight and in cereal.  Not too bad in hot beverages, but I need something a bit more versatile if I can find it.
• Oat milk: Have you ever eaten Cheerios?  You know the milk that's left in the bottom of the bowl?  Oat milk, unsurprisingly, tastes a lot like that only with less grit and oat dust to choke on.  This kind (if made from whole grain oats) contains fiber, too.  Great on oat-based cereal, not too bad straight, not awesome as a creamer for mint-based hot beverages.
• Hemp milk: I was glad to find that drinking this was not like licking a rope.  (Ropes used to be made out of hemp, sometimes.)  Thicker and a bit oilier than others, this one contains ALA Omega 3+6 oils, which are good for you if you, like me, really don't get enough of them and thus should be a dry and shriveled wad.  Sort of meh in all categories, but, well, I still can only gag down one kind of fish, so I will keep it in the repertoire for that.  It actually tasted good on whole grain granola that had hemp seeds in it. 
• Whole Grain Rice milk: A bit thicker than the regular rice milk because it has fiber.  It also tastes less sweet/polished to me.

IN CONCLUSION: Whole Grain Rice, Hemp, and Oat are in the rotation.  I keep a carton at work for tea and after-exercising when I just need to chug a cold beverage.  The other one I keep at home for cereal.  They only tend to stay fresh for 7-10 days after they're opened, so it can be a juggling act (I can't really smell when they go bad, so I just have to write the date on them and try to finish in a week) not to waste any.

I don't really cook, so I have no idea how these do in recipes as milk substitutes, so if anyone's had any experience with that, please share.  : )  Have you tried any of these?  Any ones you've tried that I've missed?  What were your reactions?

On eating healthier

I have been trying to change my diet and eat healthier for the past year.  The problem is that once you start eating healthy, it's hard to stop.  I mean, once your body gets used to processing more real food, it's kind of bitter when you offer it anything else.  And you are the one who is justly punished.

On the other hand, it's not like starting to eat healthier food is all sunshine and roses.  It can make you feel equally sick, and you really have to do it in a slow, organized, and scientific way, so you can figure out what healthy things don't agree with you.  Swapping out or introducing one new thing a week is a really doable pace, and it can keep you from feeling sicker instead of better without knowing the cause. 

For instance, if you start eating a new cereal, adding a new kind of seed to it, and trying a new milk-substitute at the same time, you have no idea which of these things is making you feel violently ill.  It doesn't help when your short-term memory is shot, meaning you feel terrible in the same way for three days before you notice and realize and start trying to deduce what is causing the problem.  (It was the seed.)

Eat more healthy foods!  But enjoy them responsibly.  That way, you'll be able to figure out what really makes you more healthy.

What's the point of milk?

So some health professionals encourage people to stop eating dairy and replace it with things like Almond milk or Rice milk.  The thing is that when I compared the original, unsweetened versions of these products to skim milk, skim milk appeared to win on all nutritional fronts except sugar.  I am told that one can buy fortified versions of these products, which leaves me confused.  I mean, I thought the idea was that I was being told to drink less milk because it's not healthy to drink a lot of it.  But foods that are artificially enriched/fortified are not as good for people as natural foods that have the good stuff in them without any artificial additives (such as grass-fed, rbh-free, no-antibiotic milk).  I am so confused.  What is the point of replacing milk with a less-healthy, less-tasty alternative?  Any ideas?

Falling in love with onions and other mysteries of reading

I am reading The Supper of the Lamb and falling in love with onions.  I used to hate onions.  I started liking them in high school when I was working a fast food job, and I found out they could add a lot of flavor to my employee discount chicken sandwiches.  I haven't looked back since.  Reading an entire chapter about them, however, did not sound immediately appealing.  I mean, I'm not a cook.  But, then, Capon's book is not wholly a cook book.  It's a sort of love letter to food or a theology of food.  You probably don't have to cook to enjoy it; you just need to have a soul. Everything can be redeemed and redeeming if you look at it closely enough.

“First, a principle of attention, simply that.  A faith that if we look and look, we will be surprised and we will be rewarded.” – Mark Doty

Should I be falling in love with food I can't prepare, cook, or (sometimes even) enjoy?  Won't it just make me more miserable as I stick to easy-to-prepare food and cafeteria food since it's really all I can manage with my hands in the shape they're in?  Should I risk loving things I can't have? 

"Sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before you can love it yourself." - Donald Miller in Blue Like Jazz

Does it matter?  The love lasts as long as the book, and then a new love will likely take its place.  No one will have been harmed, nothing real lost.  This is not a bad way to live.  For a short time, I can dream of onions in all their glory.  And then on to the next dream.

Meat raffle, anyone?

I live in the great white north, and up here, we apparently love our meat raffles in the winter. I see them advertised everywhere, from church signs to bars to mom and pop roadside restaurants. And every time I see them, I wonder . . .

Wonder no longer, my friends. I have gone to the source of most knowledge to find out what a meat raffle is, and I hereby share this information with you so that neither of us have to wonder anymore. 

Now you know. And knowing is either half the battle or the beginning of avoidance.  I guess I should tell myself it's posh if the British do it, right?  I really wonder if anyone's written a child's picture book about a meat raffle.

Do you have any weird, winter traditions in your region? 

Soup

One of the homework assignments for my online class was to read a short piece called "Soup" from the New Yorker.  Now that I have a real job with a cafeteria that sometimes has 4 different soups a day, I am coming to appreciate soup more.  It is warm.  November in my state is not.  It has more than one food group and is much healthier than the other options.  It is cheap.  It is fun to say.  "Sooooooooooooup."  What is not to love about soup?

I found myself in a bathroom washing my hands before lunch one day, and I accidentally burst into song.  (I was, thank goodness, alone.)  "Who would not give all else for two/ pennyworth only of beautiful soup?" 

This past spring, my choir was performing with the school's orchestra, and we premiered a few pieces based on Lewis Carroll poems from the Alice books.  One of them was a supremely ridiculous choral and orchestral rendition of his poem about soup.  It had a rather high tenor solo, and none of the tenors wanted it, so, with a couple weeks to go before the performance, the director asked me if I would take it.  I am flexible and dependable and sympathetic to people in authority when no one else is volunteering.  That is how I came to premier a duet about Soup. 

It was gloriously ridiculous.  I had fun, though I was hardly stunning (having been violently ill and without a voice for more than a week before the performance [I actually had to keep cough drops in my mouth during the entire performance and a bottle of water with me on the stage, for shame]). 

The side effects are with me still.  How many people do you know who have to suppress their desire to sing about soup?  Besides me, I mean?

Wales, waste, and crankiness

The last time I was in Wales, it was January, and the nights were country dark even though we were in a village because, as my host told us, money was tight in the village, and they had decided to only turn half of the streetlights on at a time.  I thought about this today as I had one of those "Our society is wasteful, unhealthy, and decadent!" moments. 

Have you ever had those sorts of fed-up moments?  The students in my writing class want to talk about how easy it is to solve big issues like world hunger and poverty.  I passed a store with all its lights on and sign blazing even though it had been closed for a few hours.  I got some over-priced hot chocolate I was told was flavored with cinnamon, and I thought they meant the actual spice cinnamon, which is really good for you, but they actually meant some horrible sort of cinnamon syrup that tasted of pepper.  I'm trying to think of ways to cut down on senseless waste on my part when I eat at the cafeteria at work, but I can't figure out how to avoid all the paper and Styrofoam since they won't let us bring our own washable dishes. 

Maybe I'm just cranky because I remember how incredible that fresh apple juice our hosts served at that home-stay in Wales tasted.  And how clear the stars were once the rain and snow passed that night.

ice cream of the gods

Today for no apparent reason, I am craving sweet chestnut soft serve ice cream, something I nearly missed a train for while visiting my sister in Japan.  Even if I had missed the train, it would have been worth it.  I thought nothing could beat sakura soft serve, but I was wrong.  So, so wrong.


Have you ever craved something you ate once while traveling abroad and have little chance of obtaining?