I want to be that teacher

I have fulfilled my dream of teaching college writing by teaching a couple of online composition classes, and I still want to be that teacher.  I think I would be good at being that teacher.  You know, the one who

• knows all about the major and minors and department and catalog and makes sure her advisees are on track.  
• is dedicated to helping students understand and learn and apply.  
• teaches students to love learning and words and communication.
• students love and come to for help because they can tell the teacher loves them and wants to help them succeed.  
• learns from her students and takes delight in learning all sorts of things.  
• loves her job and constantly finds ways to love it anew.  
• is involved in the school and helps out on committees and in the community.  
• has office hours and is available outside them.  
• has an office you want to stay in, so you can look around.  
• teaches students about how to try to be a decent human being.  

I want to be that teacher.  And I don't think I ever will be.  And it hurts.

Is being the token female so bad?

"Critics say the recently proposed campaign leads to tokenism, where women are invited as keynote speakers to placate concerns over gender imbalance. Worse yet, they argue tokenism casts a cloud over a woman’s seat at the table because onlookers will question whether she was included for her sex or her merit. Others say the status quo is simply unacceptable and that drastic measures — initiated by the world’s leading male philosophers, no less — must be taken." - Kathryn Blaze Carlson

Echoes of Affirmative Action here.  And also literature, I think.  There is debate about this in literature even now, I think.  When folks assemble a new literature survey book, they have to make decisions.  Do they include women nobody read when they were alive and publishing simply because they're female (and we want a more "balanced"--not necessarily accurate--representation)?  Since most women weren't educated and thus couldn't serve as an audience, does that justify inclusion of people who didn't have a wide readership because they were female?

Part of me thinks that it would really irk me to be the token female or to be suspected of being her.  However, I was quite happy to hang on to a job for years due to my disability status.  I really needed that job.  I think I would have kept it even if I was somehow only allowed to because of my chromosomes.

Am I just really inconsistent here, or is the usual war of practical and theoretical, perfect world and actual world colliding.  What are your thoughts on the topic?