Thursday, November 12, 2009

autumn haiku

today I feel dry
leaves drag across the asphalt
swept by wind brooms

or something like that

I'll keep tweaking it
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4 comments:

  1. Liz ComptonNovember 13, 2009 at 9:56 PM

    I've never seen a haiku with one stanza of three lines and two stanzas with one line each... I really like the conceptual development in the second stanza, and the resolution in the third.

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  2. The Moon in AutumnNovember 15, 2009 at 8:24 PM

    :) I actually just meant the top bit to be the poem, but you're right about it as a whole . . . Hmmmm.

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  3. Liz ComptonNovember 15, 2009 at 9:24 PM

    I was in a snarky mood that night...

    incidentally, though, the whole post taken as a poem does have something satisfying about it

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  4. The Moon in AutumnNovember 15, 2009 at 10:21 PM

    :)

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