when marketers tell stories, sometimes it gets a bit out of hand

Obviously the person who wrote this marketing copy has at least a Ph.D. in BS.  I have never laughed so hard about a bathmat purchase: What am I buying?  This Indonesian-inspired bathmat brings us back to our roots.  All over the worlds, centuries ago, weaving was a way of life: from shelter over our heads and a weaved thatch roof, to keeping food and supplies safe and dry, to the first pair of prehistoric designer jeans weaved from fibrous material.  This timeless design continues to serve mankind with the weave of the . . . bathmat which gives you a safe non-slip surface.. . . "