Glorious Home Leave(s) and Planning for My Return

#That'sTheStuff

It looks like fall and feels like summer with added stinging leaves instead of stinging insects, and I will take it.  I successfully executed my plans.

#SundayPlansHammockAudiobookDrowsingBlanketToFendOffLeaves

#MondayPlansMedicalAppointmentRepeatSunday

My activity tracker was pleased with this resting-walking-sleeping-reading thing.

#IPlanTo

#ICelebrateMyReadinessWithMoreHammock

#Cozy

Then it was back to work and then back to the GTA.  My occasional awful luck with rideshares reared its head, but I've finally stopped shivering.  My frustration will keep me warm.

#HangInThereEveryone  #We'llAllBeGladWhenIt'sOver  #EspeciallyMe

Got back to work with a brain that felt like pudding and a strong desire to take a week off.  But we're headed into the last 5 weeks of crunch time and my assignment here, so we'll have to pull it together!

#Let'sCallItCreativeNonFiction

We did not really pull it together, which is probably why we had a likely slightly ill-advisedly honest conversation with our manager.  Two of them actually.  One brief and in person while he was leaving, and I was . . . working later than I planned due to a monitor failure and an unwillingness to ask for help.  One regularly scheduled later in the week.  It wasn't quite no-holds barred, but it was somewhat raw.  He absolutely baffles me.  He claims that his goal as a manager is to help his employees reach their career goals.  But he knows my career goal, and he is unwilling to express an opinion on whether I am capable of working at that higher level or whether I am working at it now.  He does not believe it is his role as a manager to tell me what he thinks I am capable of.  He believes his role as a manager is to find out what my goal is and help me move closer to it.  But, dude, how on Earth can I KEEP giving 150+% for no reward for you when you won't even say that you believe I am operating at that level and should be recognized as such?  How can I possibly believe you will advocate for me and fight for me in calibrations when you have admitted you don't believe in me and aren't willing to fight for me?  I'm just stunned and exhausted.  And frustrated.  And mad that he is still so willing to drive me and my expertise out of the department because of this weird inferiority complex specifically my managers have.  What an absolute waste that all of my contributions at the plant and global level don't matter and aren't valued by him or the next couple levels up.  I'm just kind of done.  Still.  Again.  Sigh.  Until next time.

#ExtraMysteriousBecauseIDon'tEatMustard

On the plus side, this is useful.  My choices are narrowing.  Something in my current temporary line of work that is ideal or back into this abusive relationship with my eyes wide open and my goals lowered, clarified, and aligned on with my manager.  

So with a deep breath and a To Do in my last 5 weeks on this adventure, let's have some fancy Saturday tea and art, shall we?

#TastyFoods  #MasalaChai

I also need to remember that I do like the scent of some floral teas when I can smell them, but they still taste like leaves in water.  (Looks pointedly at anything peach.)  Then briefly around the art museum to the galleries I didn't get to the other times in case this is my last time.

#TheColorOnThisOneNeverQuiteComesOutCorrectWithCellPhoneCamera

#Acrylic  #TheColorsOnThisOneFolks  #WishYouCouldSeeInPerson

#DefinitelyNotPreRaphaelite  #OrHudsonRiverSchool

#IAmInLoveWithTheGreenBlueColorHere  #AlsoDidNotComeOutRightInCellPhonePic

#IWishYouCouldSeeThisOneInPersonToo  #TextileArtWow

 

#TheseAreTheKindThatLookBetterFromFarAway  #TheyCaptureSomethingEssential  #UpCloseNotSoMuch

I grabbed a last chicken sandwich from the Chinese Bakery to eat in 3 days when I am not so full of tea.  And . . . okay, I walked over to The Beguiling to buy some very heavy manga that I will regret having to get into my suitcases when I leave, but it's the last time!  I don't know if you go into melancholy mode when something is ending (usually my time in a place because I am moving), but I get all weepy and "This might be the last time I walk past my tree / garden bed / restaurant / art museum / garage stall / doctor's office / seriously anything."  I am self-aware enough to know it's pretty funny while also enjoying the nostalgia.  Pre-nostalgia?

  

The weather here is definitely fall now, so let's get in our walkies while it's still dry and warm enough not to cause dysautonomia issues.  Let's end with a random transit puppy.  May you all be dry and warm and able to rest in comfort like this transit puppy.