Trying to plan and buy 6 month supplies of all the things that I can't get in Canada for comparable prices is . . . fun. And there's no way it will all fit. With the medical-related stuff taking up 2 of the 4 suitcases, there isn't really much room for everything else. I might have to take the home leaves just to swap out stuff. If I ever leave. I go from being sure they're professionals who know what they're doing and they're not just going to call it off from wondering how they get paid to do things this poorly.
But if I do go, whenever that is, I will have all the stuff, dagnabbit. And I am being good about icing in between. Better now that I've ordered extra gel packs for icing to bring with me. They'll be sufficiently cold, and I'll be able to ice more things at once, possibly reducing the overall time it takes to ice.
Sometimes I wonder what it's like to not have to carefully plan exercise and an hour of icing twice a day. It's 3-5 hours of personal healthcare a day. And most people don't have to do it. What do they do with all that time? How many books could they read in that time! (Especially if the physical act of reading books didn't cause them debilitating pain?!)
It's not like I don't do anything. I get a lot of books and podcasts listened to. But I think that also contributes to me being bad at actually resting. I still, after decades of this, feel like I'm not doing enough and that resting is not actively doing things but passively wasting time. It's kind of appalling how built in that is in my bones and brain. Even after so many years of not being able to actively do the things without great consequences. Resting is how we prevent consequences. We know this. And yet.
So, we prepare and we live in hope that the subcontracting companies get their acts together, so we can get away from the agony at work and the anguish of not knowing and being in between. Stay tuned.
Eating great while cleaning out the fridge!
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