Pull Me Out

"Pull Me Out" by Bebo Norman

"Well this could be all about just letting go, or this could be all about just holding on." 

I have loved this song since the first time I heart it years ago.  And every word feels very present right now as I still feel like things are flying apart for me.  I am still very hurt by the betrayal of my leaders, but is it really the right choice to just give up and run away?  Shouldn't I be trying to wrestle with my hurt and humiliation to get to a place where I can carry on like I was before doing good work I enjoy (less of it moving forward due to some other changes they're making)?  Can I keep up with those changes. (I don't think so.)  I don't have a clear idea of what the right choice is.  I feel very stuck, and I want someone to pull me out.

That's what I was feeling a couple months ago.  And then there was this email that said they needed someone with my expertise who maybe would like to move to Canada for a year.  And it felt like maybe that was how God was reaching down here to help pull me out.

Maybe it was, but maybe it wasn't.  Maybe it doesn't matter.  Maybe I just have to trust that God will be with me regardless of my choice.  And that there is a good ending on either path.

"There is happiness for those who accept their fate.  There is glory for those who defy their fate." - Princess Tutu anime

Stay tuned.