Weather whiplash, chocolate fortunes, and French toast

One of the benefits of this solo journey is that I don't really know what's going on in my current location workplace, so there is less drama about.  And I am really trying to take advantage of that to restore depleted batteries and stock up on rest like it is my (other) job. #InAdditionToPhysicalTherapy #AndSleeping #AndIcing #AndYouGetTheIdea

If you know me, you know that I'm asexual and happily live alone.  Being able to pull up stakes and run to Canada was certainly handy, but I did wonder if it would be a great idea to walk away from all my communities.  Thankfully, I didn't have to.  Praise God for technology, so I can attend and interact with folks at my church every Sunday online and my small group every week online.  Thanks to all for patience with weird wifi and technical difficulties.

I continue to think about what to do "next" when I have to go back to all the drama and (probably only in my head) humiliation.  Right now is an exercise in trying to decide if I want the title that recognizes the level I've been working at for years more than I want familiarity and stability.  I WANT to want what I thought I wanted before all this blew up: to keep doing work I like until I make enough to live off 80% of it, then drop down to 4 days a week in an effort to prolong my ability to make a living.  I really did think that was what I wanted.  But then everything happened, and GOOD GRIEF I have no idea where all that came from, but seeing the title I thought I had earned multiple times over go to someone else less qualified because my kind and caring management is also ragingly incompetent made my head and heart explode.  Which shouldn't have happened if what I really wanted was what I thought I wanted.  #HumansAreComplicated

You probably can't read this fortune that came wrapped around a piece of flirty Italian dark chocolate, but it says, "Even the stones placed in one's path can be made into something beautiful," and I sure hope it's right.  

#BecauseItWon'tCenterForTheLifeOfMe.

I managed to complete all my work really well last year despite feeling like . . . well, all that I was feeling, and I still didn't get an outstanding rating.  Which I shouldn't care about, since I thought I just wanted to get the rating I needed to stay employed.  In conclusion, I have no idea what I actually want, and no idea how to make myself want what I should probably want.  And that's not even the half of it.

Weather has continued to be odd here.  Very mild.  Rare that it's cold and / or windy enough that I can't venture out in my serious winter coat even in mid-winter.  Weather whiplash I'm used to in late March / April is happening now.  #OhMySinuses

Did I seriously let myself get faked out by a couple of random, glorious days of warmth?  I did.  Yes, I sure did.  Not time to retire the serious winter coat yet.  #DefinitelyRememberToCheckTheWeather

It's been tricky to stay hydrated.  Apparently I can do it if I stick to a single routine and a single glass.  Disrupt anything, and I have no idea what's going on.  It's probably never a bad idea to pour more water down my throat.  Especially during winter.  I'm unlikely to poison myself by over-watering.  #SameCannotBeSaidForAnyPlantI'veEverOwnedThatDrowned

Trying to get back into the writing in the notebook habit to prevent blank page syndrome.  We'll get there.  

#Eventually #TheJourneyIsMyHome #SometimesICan'tEvenReadTheWordsIWrote

Honestly?  Doing much better at not doing this.  

It's still hard to just rest when I can, but, y'all, my activity tracker is so proud of me when I do.  Current life goals:

• Get to bed by 9:30
• Not have to ice every day
• Not have to ice twice some days
• Be able to walk around for fun and get lost and find my way again without crippling pain and crippling myself for weeks
• Awaken Well Rested
• Get up in the morning at all in a semi-quickly way
• Be able to handle whatever comes next for work
• Be able to think about what happened at work without feeling incandescent rage, exhaustion, or burnout
• Get whatever is wrong with my left foot to calm the *#@& down
• Hum more
• Sing more
• . . .  

We celebrated Lunar New Year at work, and I brought out my trusty recipe for Taiwanese Nian Gao (with and without red bean paste and with and without sesame seeds [with sesame seeds and bean paste clear winners]).  And then I was faced with a conundrum: What do I do with the leftover eggs I am avoiding due to reactivity issues?  Find some random neighbor to give them to?  Put them in the compost which is required everywhere and is so easy?

The answer was obviously to go out and buy some bread (I was aiming for Brioche) (that I am supposed to be avoiding all the ingredients of due to reactivity issues), get some dairy (that I am supposed to be avoiding due to reactivity issues), and make FRENCH toast.  

Maybe it will all cancel itself out?  #DearReaderItDoesNotWorkThatWay

I looked all over the place Thursday morning and could not find any brioche loaves in the 17 bakeries within walking distance that I tried.  

Finally had acupuncture on Friday (the last healing/pain reduction vector I hadn't gotten set up here yet) where the acupuncture lady talked about how I definitely needed to avoid dairy and sugar.  Then, after acupuncture, I figured I could just look up bakeries near me and find something in the 20 minutes before all the bakeries closed!  At night!  In the heart of downtown Toronto!  In the dark!  At the End of a long week after a short week!  When I have trouble reading my Canada phone and can't figure out how to make the text bigger!  Which has trouble sometimes knowing where it is and sends me the wrong way!  #IPromiseIt'sNotAlwaysUserError  

All this when I was in So Much Pain!  Simple!  #WhatCouldPossiblyGoWrong 

#PainMeansBreadInFrench #JustSaying

Behold my unevenly sliced glory!  

#NoBloodWasAddedToThisRecipe  #AlsoNoSugarWasAddedToThisRecipe #IKnowSomePeopleDoThatToFrenchToast #Whyyyyyy #TheyAreHeathens

#SoIHopeMyAcupunctureLadyDoesn'tGetJudgy #MostlyBecauseIWon'tTellHer #UnlessSheAsks

Egg, dairy, cinnamon, nutmeg, cardamom.  All the butter. 

Cut it all up.  Add maple syrup.  #ThisIsTheWay

Then go to the therapy pool or take a walk or a nice stationary bike ride.  And remind me later this week when I am complaining about being in lots of pain that it was #WorthEveryBite.

"I'll sing this song in the land of my sojourn." - Rich Mullins "Land of My Sojourn"  #SeemsAppropriate  #AlsoHowCanIKeepFromSinging