Star-crossed lovers, life, and hilarious humidity hair

 I am still enjoying my hair, which is extra fun with the added humidity.  

#ClickToEmbiggenAndSeeTheBodyOfTheHumidityHair

Still having issues with MCAS / allergies and the wild humidity here.  One of the fun symptoms is that my body doesn't quite know what to do with very basic situations.  When you are flat in bed, your heart rate and blood pressure drop because your circulation isn't fighting gravity (my understanding).  When I get into bed, my blood pressure and heart rate get . . . confused.  Eventually, they start to drop, sometimes precipitously, but the end result is that they don't hit their lowest point until right before I wake up.  They're supposed to do that 4-6 hours into sleep, so you can rest and recover for several hours.  

This is actually when it's doing better.  Sometimes it goes up to and stays at exercise levels for several hours before slowly falling.  So, in general, this is one reason why I am tired and foggy even if I am diligently in bed at the same time every night and out of bed at the same time every morning and follow every other rule of good sleep hygiene.

#AlsoSimilarForTechnicalDiscussionsAtWork  #ThankYouForYourPatience

Going to bed on time every night, to be honest, doesn't ALWAYS happen (see previous post #BOOKS)  but has been happening a LOT more since I came here and don't have thousands of very compelling books to pick up and start reading too late.

#BadBookLogic  #ItAlwaysMakesSenseAtTheTime  #WellSometimes

#ThatWouldNotMakeItBetterIssa

#That'sMyStoryAndI'mStickingToIt

#FiguringItOut  #Snort

#ThisIsNotHelpingTheSituation  #MakingMeCranky  #NotSoMuchGetOffMyLawnAsI'veReadTooMuchSciFi  #OrJustEnough

#ThatSoundsUncomfortableIssa  #AndUnhygienic  #AndProbablyUnhelpful  #ThoughAncientPoetsCertainlyDidHaveLessAIInTheirFaces

#HaveSomeDecentRamenToWarmUpIssa

One of my problems is that both of these are simultaneously true.  #BrainFog  #Ugh

 

I talked to my new manager back in MN.  

#YeahThatWentWell

#ThisMadeMeLaugh  #What'sWrongWithCanada  #BetterThanWhereIWas

People are coming to visit me in Canada!  Yay!  We are not having great luck scheduling things.  In some ways, this is a bit stressful.  I have to arrange for time off work.  I have to carefully organize myself, so that I do not inconveniently collapse somewhere or crash or have a flareup for weeks after the fun.  Other people, for numerous reasons from personalities to not having chronic health issues to family members to having acute health issues, are not quite as into the careful planning.  Best case scenario, I have more time on vacation days to read.  Worst case scenario I pass out or my brace gets destroyed in a foreign land or something bends sideways or it takes weeks to recover from my lack of self-control when with loved ones.

#Hahaha #Ouch

Last but not least!  New chapter in the drama of why is the chair at the construction site!  The fancy conference room chair that lives at the construction site has a friend!  Or enemy.  Or rival.  Or star crossed lover.  Either way, a new character has entered the scene!

#There'sAStoryHere  #ProbablyOnlyInMyHead  #StayTuned

#ARomanceForTheAges  #OrSomething

Moonlight for everyone!  Especially if you did NOT bring me flowers, as I am still allergic to most of them.  Until next week!

Frustrating Birds, PAI 4EVER, Summer Fruits, Too Hot

 Another week of adventure!  In fun news, I am allergic to my current rental car.  We'll be hanging out in the hot temperatures and chemical offgassing together through September.  In car's favor, its shape is better for me and less likely for me to have narrow parking garage problems the last long one had.  In car's disfavor, it looks like it should have some get-up-and-go but does not, actually, have any get-up-and-go.  Kind of like me at this time?  : D

In my defense: Books.  

#Books #Forever

#AlsoWords!  #Yay!

#English!  #TerribleGoodTimes  #Yay!

I love love love that on a good day (weather, temperature, pain), I can walk to the 5th closest fruit and vegetable place to get organic berries, to the meat place to get generally not actually meat, and to this random chain place with excellent hot chocolate with oat milk and a savory croissant.  I actually sat down to rest and try desperately to take pictures of the adorable little opportunistic birds that hang around for crumbs.  The adorable little birds that will stay still until I pull out my camera to get a picture.  Since I sat down for a bit to look around, I discovered that the whole building and all the outside tables shake every time the subway trains go past.  I am . . . very glad that the building I'm living in doesn't do this, even though it's around the same place in relation to the subway line.

#NotPictured:AnyBirds  #NotForLackOfTrying

#JustNotTakingPicturesOfIt

#:)  #:(

Weather has finally not been cooperating.  So I have to plan trips even more carefully.  It's fun to ride the line between sunburn and sunstroke.  

#YouAndMeBothBasho

I don't actually hate summer or anything.  It's just that dysautonomia means my body doesn't handle high temperatures correctly.  I am fine in higher (for the midwest) temperatures in the shade on a hammock not moving.  It's the other stuff that's problematic.  I currently am without my hammock in the shade, so, ick.

And now, for a fun stroll down memory lane!

Y'all.  Landing this job was life-altering.  I am still so happy about it.  Being able to afford an FSA and real health care, being able to save more, being able to give more, being able to afford housing I could customize to offset my health stuff, getting away from the toxic and sinking ship that was my previous dream job (working in a bookstore): all of these made possible by convincing a corporation that my master's degree made it worth them hiring someone with increasing disabilities like me (this was how I thought about it in my own mind, as you should never disclose your disabilities until after you're hired for a job you can do with reasonable accommodations).

None of that is made less true by the disaster that has been the past year.

#ThankfullyThisIsBecomingLessTrue  #AlsoI'mProbablyAllergicToGeese

Still giving myself a lot of grace around this.  Working with a career coach in a desperate effort to figure out how to have better work boundaries, get out of this burnout, and figure out how to figure out next steps.  #PrayersAppreciated

And, honestly, I am so grateful that God gave me this escape path of leaving behind the situation and going on an adventure somewhere else for a year.  The timing was so very providential.

Friends.  One of my colleagues recommended this restaurant back when I first took on this role to escape.  I just recently realized that one location was near one of my health care providers, and I took a chance. It is a chance I will be taking again.

#ADeliciousDeliciousChance  #PAI4EVER  #ThisIsThePadGraPowIHaveBeenLookingFor  #AlsoExcellentAsLeftovers

#NearlyTooPrettyToEat  #Nearly

There was a day I could smell this week!  It corresponded with the range of days when I was letting peaches sit on the counter and praying they wouldn't overripen before I needed them for the building potluck. Y'all.  Ripening peaches smell.  So.  Delicious.  And when you are letting them just be delicious there until a certain day, it is a bit torturous.  Like really good slow cooker food.  The smell just fills the space and entices you.  #SelfControlWon  If only I could figure out the Canadian oven.  #StillNoLuckOnOvenTimeAndTemp

I'll be finishing up the last of the leftovers today.  Raspberry & Peach crisp.  GF.  DF.  Vegan.  Still delicious.  And somehow not overripe.  This feels like a great victory.    #TakeAChanceOnThePeachesSometimes

What didn't feel like a great victory was the actual potluck.  The weather for both the original day and the backup day looked dire, so they did it inside.  I . . . think I accidentally drank something alcoholic?  Or fake alcoholic?  It looked like the safest option: fruit in water in a jug set out on a beverage table along with wine in bottles and stuff.  Fruit water is not my favorite but is definitely liquid.  It was vile.  I understand now why I saw lots of abandoned cups with this in it around the rooms.  Yech.  

I brought my own plates and silverware, as the postings advertised, but I was definitely in the minority.  Lots of people wandering about in search of plates that did not exist and then acting peeved because they didn't read the posters.    

Aaaand, as with all grilling-related potlucks that correspond with days my hands aren't working right, I ended up with a burger that had waaaaay too much mayo and ketchup on it.  They spilled all over the place, so I had to go back to my room and wash my hands off.  #OhNo  #ReasonsToLeaveTheParty  #ThatIDon'tPlanOn  #ButDon'tMind

#Accurate

This one made me snort. If you're reading this, you are likely not shocked by this claim.  #ItWillHappenAgain  #ThankYouForYourPatienceAndEnjoyment  #KeepItWeird,Friends

New Kicks, terrible anniversaries, beauty, too much

Three years ago this week.  Read somewhere recently someone talking about how grief is a language, and the goal is to become fluent in it, not a journey with a destination.  Thinking about that.

You know, the light is lovely.  I generally feel better when there is more of it.  But when I have no control over how much of it comes in my bedroom window, my brain and body kind of can't even.

It's coming.  I . . . have not missed it or wanted it, but it's here anyway.  #AndMeWithoutMyHammock

 

#ThisPleasesMe  #ITooAmBadAtSummer  #DysautonomiaNotFTW

#YouKnowWhat'sGoodAtSummer?  #Flowers!  #PurpleTrumpetsLineThePathToTheStation

#ItCanBeALot

#ThisGuyIsHereToHelp  #YouHaveTheEnergyToGoSeeArt  #SweetSweetArt

  

The museum was closed when last I had adventure days (strike that seems to have been worked out).  I am glad it is open again while this exhibit is still here!  Yay!

 

The fabrics, friends.  Wow.  Lots of very fine detail here, and you can practically feel all the textures.  Wow.  I do also like when you can see the figure study / initial idea draft and the completed painting.  MIA did a Pre-Raphaelite exhibit years ago with lots of those, and they were exquisite.  #IDidNotMakeItOutOfTheGiftShopWithoutAcquiringMorePre-RaphaelitePics  #HowCouldI  #TheyWereThere

Didn't grab the name on this one, but you'll see more of her work (the one right before this and several later on).  She has this way of making the faces so dang charming in a way that is hard to capture with a crappy cell camera but is so charismatic in person.

 

This guy looks like he was a good guy.  I'm always interested in the ones where it's like the face is on another plane of existence and more 3-D than the rest.  #ThatGreenBackground  #ThatBook  #ProbablyAGoodConversationalPartner  #He'dTellYouAllKindsOfCoolThingsAboutStuff  #AndMakeSlyJokes

Skip down a bit to the wacky babies if you don't like that preoccupation with beheaded people in art.

***************  

At first I thought this was Salome with the Head of John the Baptist, but I was totally wrong.  This one is kind of intense and rewards some attention.

To me, the severed head is the least interesting thing in the painting.  

My first thought was confusion about the hands.  Whose hands are whose?  #IThinkIFinallyFiguredItOut  #ButThereIsSomethingSeriouslyWonkyThere  #ProbablyMeansSomethingToExpertArtPeople

My second thought was HOLY COW THAT HANDMAID'S FACE IS LIKE SATAN.  What is up with that?  Seriously?  Embiggen to gaze upon whatever that is and wonder with me what it is all about.  Art people who put the little descriptions next to paintings, THIS is the kind of thing I need to know your thoughts about.  

I moved in for a closer look at details, and that fabric and the hair and those jewels are all masterful.

Interestingly, it was only when I got close that I noticed the knife.  #ThatKnifeY'all  

And on that knife?  The artist's name.  #AbsolutelyFabulous  #Chef'sKiss

I had that whole experience with a couple of other people, and we pointed out things we noticed to each other.  I do love moving about an art exhibit totally at my own pace, but I also appreciate appreciating things WITH other people, so we can share the joy of discovery.  It's invigorating.

***************
OKAY!  BABIES!  #Babies:StillHardToPaintEvenIfYouAsAWomanHavePresumablySeenThem

The baby in this one is a bit horrifying.  But the mother's expression somehow exactly encapsulates that cautious joy of the very young mother marveling at this child that is hers.  It's a bit more cautious than exhausted because this looks like a wealthy house, and the person who likely does all the work and deals with the non-ideal moments with the child is the maid to the left.  Her expression is also quite good.  The weariness of the bad moments but the contentment at the mother's joy makes me happy.  Also makes me wonder if this maid has worked for ladies who did NOT like their own children.  #BonusFluffyFluffyCat

This baby is a little less hideous (sort of ignore the stomach).  The tenderness here is quite lovely.  I also like the pillow embroidery of the artist's name.  #nice

Just ignore the whole nightmare baby here.  The face of the lady was what struck me.  

On to some other cool stuff!

Y'all.  12 years old.  I wish you could have seen it up close in real life.  Also, imagining how beautiful this must have been in full color . . .

Not pictured because I know some of you are not . . . fans of cockroaches even in art.  I just thought it was a hilarious subject and am still laughing that this was the one page they chose to feature in the exhibition.  : D

The picture of course does not do it justice, but THOSE GREENS!!!!!!  So vibrant even after so many years.  It's so lovely.

 

This one is seriously photorealistic.  The cell phone cam did not quite capture that, but, seriously, I was stunned this was not a photo.  That wasn't true of the other example they had on display, but this one blew my mind.

 

There were lots of things that weren't paintings, but many of them were not great triumphs of terrible cell phone photo museum pics.  The vibrancy of the color on this one almost comes across in the picture.

Another wonderful Vigee-Lebrun here.  The children are a little . . . off, but the ladies are so lovely and charming.

 

Close up here.  The fabric and hair detail, the careful attention to the faces and the expressions, and the obvious affection are just marvelous!

Now for something completely different.  The wrinkles around the eyes!!!!!!  This is so good.  I wonder how vibrant it was originally.  Also a lovely story in the explanation panel.

 

Now we're in the home stretch, which is women artists doing pictures of women artists.  Once up on a time, my older sister got her hair professionally done for a formal event thing, and the hair stylist tied it into a bow, which resulted in . . . well, it's funny now as we look back on it.  Apparently, the hairstylist was a fan of this historical hairstyle?

 

Please click to embiggen and read the tiny text here.  Wow.  Wow.  Wow.

This one is very . . . something.  Determined?  Hopeful?  Focused?  Dynamic?  Anyway, I liked it!  Good expression.  Doesn't come across as well in the cell phone pic.   

I have heard of this one on Stuff You Missed in History Class (a fun podcast), and I never thought I'd get to see it in person.  #GladToBeWrong  It's such a joyful expression and painting.  It must have been knock-your-socks-off vibrant when originally painted.  

This one is quite full of little details.  My favorite is the random squirrel that is deeply involved in the whole thing.  This artist made a lot of choices, and I quite like them.  #YouGoRandomSquirrel

 

Sometimes I look at a painting close up and think it is kind of . . . not great.  I forget that they mostly would have been seen at a distance in very dim surroundings.  When I sat down to try to reduce pain levels a little, I saw this one again and realized why it would have been great in its original setting.  It's very dramatic and clear from a distance.  #AlwaysSomethingToKeepInMind  #PerspectiveMatters

I could hardly NOT visit my favorites again.  I was once again drawn away from Jesus.  Most paintings that feature Him in this kind of setting and time period, his face is the LEAST interesting, which is fascinating to me.  It always seems kind of generic and personality-less.  Like they're afraid it would be blasphemous to use someone's actual face or a face that actually looked like someone real.  #BlandJesusFace  #LotsOfOtherGoodFaces  #It'sAMixInThisOne  #HeCOULDPaintGoodFacesButSometimesDidAndSometimesDidn't  #Choices

And this one, which is so hard to photograph well.  This time I tried to look at it from further away.  The dramatic lighting and the line of the painting are so breathtaking.  Solomon's face to his finger to the naked servant to the begging woman.  Nearly impossible to photograph well with crappy cell phone camera doing its best.  #Dramatic

I also had the thought as I looked at this particular artistic rendering of the subject (King Solomon passing judgement about the disputed child): what if King Solomon's line of reasoning was actually wrong?  Anyway, that was interesting.  This painting is still awesome.

 

#SakawaCoffee  #IWouldHaveEatenAWholePlateOfTheseVeggies  #GreatMisoSoup  #TheSoupDumplingsOfAmazingness #NeedToGetHereForBrunchSometime

Yeah, I totally overdid it.  This is how pain registers on my activity tracker sometimes: as high stress.  Also apparently how it registers volleyball anime, which is interesting. : D  I am going spend as much time resting over the weekend as I can.  Overall, a good Friday Vacation adventure full of food, beauty, and too much pain.

Hope you get some rest and beauty!